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Going to University is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good job, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion v.1

Going to University is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good job, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. 1
The world today is more connected than ever. With the ease of access of intercontinental travel and international cooperation, many students are choosing to study abroad. Even though they bring many benefits for themselves and for the countries involved, there are also some significant drawbacks for the local populations. I will examine the positive, and negative effects international students have in their host countries and for themselves. International students bring many benefits for all those involved. Individuals from different backgrounds tend to bring new ideas and points of views. For example, students who aren't familiar with western ideas of enlightenment and personal liberty provide students with a different point of view of the world they live in. The host countries might also benefit from the different values they bring. Students and the host countries both benefit from an interchange of ideas. However, while international students may have several positive aspects, they may cause some unintended consequences for the countries involved. An increase amount of international students means that there might be less opportunities for domestic students. If the majority of international students return to their home country after receiving a diploma, the host country will then have fewer highly educated individuals, which might affect the country in the long run. In conclusion, even though international students may spread create an interchange of ideas in the host countries, they also cause some significant drawback for domestic students who wish to continue their higher education. Overall, the benefits of international students do not outweigh their drawbacks.
The world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is more connected than ever. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of access of intercontinental travel and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
cooperation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are choosing to study abroad.
Even though
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for themselves and for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
involved, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant drawbacks for the local populations. I will examine the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and for themselves.

International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for all those involved. Individuals from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and points of views.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who aren't familiar with western
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of enlightenment and personal liberty provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
point of view of the world they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
might
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
values they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
from an interchange of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

However
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may have several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects, they may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unintended consequences for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
involved. An increase amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
means that there might be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun opportunities is countable.
less
opportunities for domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. If the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
return to their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after receiving a diploma, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will then have fewer
highly
educated individuals, which might affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the long run.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may spread create an interchange of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they
also
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant drawback for domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who wish to continue their higher education.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not outweigh their drawbacks.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Going to University is thought by many to be the best way to secure a good job, on the other hand, some people think that getting work experience and getting a skill is more important. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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