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Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree with this view? v.10

Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v. 10
It is frequently believed, foreign tourists ought to be charged higher than compared to the national inhabitants when they travel across the country for visiting eminent spots. While I firmly believe, this approach brings detrimental consequences for the economy and isolates a country as well. One negative impact of this development is that foreign travellers are not likely to visit an inflated country and endeavour to search out alternative avenues. Consequently, it will badly hit the economy and poses serious threats to the revenues of the restaurants. In addition, a bunch of employees will bereft from their professions, and ultimately, they barely maintain their living standard. In Pakistan, for example, the ratio of tourist is nearly five per cent due to the optimal ticket prices of the historical places. Thus, the escalation in prices will result in the unfavourable outcomes of people and a country. Furthermore, another point to consider is that foreign travellers play a seminal role in spreading a positive image of a nation because they act as an ambassador of their regions. Therefore, any discrimination in prices disconnected the country from the rest of the world. Even, this step would demolish the fruitful perception by negative word of mouth. As a result, a nation hardly showcases cultural values, ethos, and right key insights. However, this notion will leave unwanted effects on a country and society as a whole. In conclusion, it is my genuine belief, a country should not have to charge over from the visitors, as it will halt the economical progression and societal interaction.
It is
frequently
believed, foreign tourists ought to
be charged
higher than compared to the national inhabitants when they travel across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for visiting eminent spots. While I
firmly
believe, this approach brings detrimental consequences for the economy and isolates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
.

One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of this development is that foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
are not likely to visit an inflated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to search out alternative avenues.
Consequently
, it will
badly
hit the economy and poses serious threats to the revenues of the restaurants.
In addition
, a bunch of employees
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "wills"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'will' is not always incorrect.)
will
bereft from their professions, and
ultimately
, they
barely
maintain their living standard. In Pakistan,
for example
, the ratio of tourist is
nearly
five per cent due to the optimal ticket prices of the historical places.
Thus
, the escalation in prices will result in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
outcomes of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and a country.

Furthermore
, another point to consider is that foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
play a seminal role in spreading a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
image of a nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they act as an ambassador of their regions.
Therefore
, any discrimination in prices disconnected the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
from the rest of the world. Even, this step would demolish the fruitful perception by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
word of mouth.
As a result
, a nation hardly showcases cultural values, ethos, and right key insights.
However
, this notion will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
unwanted effects on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and society as a whole.

In conclusion
, it is my genuine belief, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
charge over from the visitors, as it will halt the economical progression and societal interaction.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some people think that foreign visitors should be charged more than locals when they visit cultural and tourist attractions in a country. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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