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q24. Your community center now offers classes on the weekends for free, which of the following class you will choose to take? 1. A financial course to help you manage money, 2. Car maintenance and repair3. Review of Latin-American music v.1

q24. Your community center now offers classes on the weekends for free, which of the following class you will choose to take? 1. A financial course to help you manage money, 2. Car maintenance and repair3. Review of Latin-American music v. 1
Technology has become an important part and parcel of our lives these days. There is almost nothing that is not being touched by it. It has widely changed our way of living. Apart from many advantages, it definitely has some disadvantages. But its benefits has outweighed the disadvantages. We carry technology in our hands in the form of mobile phones which has almost everything these days. For instance, you want to buy something, be it food or clothes, anything can be bought online with just one click. It has really given us a great comfort. As people don't have to go out of their homes to buy stuff. It really helps when the weather is not good outside. But with this, the human interaction is getting lost these days. As we are interacting less with the people. Also, earlier people used to spend their leisure times by visiting friends, or playing outdoor games, or visiting relatives. But with the advent of the technology, children have a lot of options of online learning in the form of games. With this the physical activity has reduced, which is creating a lot of health issues among youngsters. The advantages of information technology has greatly outweighed its disadvantages. With advent of technology, these days the workplace has become more comfortable. Also, there are options to work from home, which a person can avail in the case of emergencies. With new advancements, it has become easier to predict natural calamities and hence saving the human race from any fatal loss. For example, with the timely notification of Tsunami by the scientists this year, has greatly helped in moving the families out of that region in a timely manner. So in conclusion, the advantages of information technology have definitely outweighed its disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part and parcel of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
these days. There is almost nothing
that is
not
being touched
by it. It has
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our way of living. Apart from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages, it definitely has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
its benefits has outweighed the disadvantages.

We carry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in our hands in the form of mobile phones which has almost everything these days.
For instance
, you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something, be it food or clothes, anything can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
online with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one click. It has
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
us a great comfort.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go out of their homes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff. It
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
when the weather is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
outside.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with this, the human interaction is getting lost these days. As we are interacting less with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Also
, earlier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend their leisure times by visiting friends, or playing outdoor games, or visiting relatives.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the advent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, children have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
options of online learning in the form of games. With this the physical activity has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, which is creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
health issues among youngsters.

The advantages of information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
greatly
outweighed its disadvantages. With advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, these days the workplace has become more comfortable.
Also
, there are options to work from home, which a person can avail in the case of emergencies. With new advancements, it has become easier to predict natural calamities and
hence
saving the human race from any fatal loss.
For example
, with the timely notification of Tsunami by the scientists this year, has
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in moving the families out of that region in a timely manner.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in conclusion
, the advantages of information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have definitely outweighed its disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay q24. Your community center now offers classes on the weekends for free, which of the following class you will choose to take? 1. A financial course to help you manage money, 2. Car maintenance and repair3. Review of Latin-American music v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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