Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that for a person to be successful, he or she should go to university. Others think that it is not necessary to have a university education in order to be successful. Which opinion do you agree with? Include details in your response. v.1

Some people think that for a person to be successful, he or she should go to university. Others think that it is not necessary to have a university education in order to be successful. Which opinion do you agree with? Include details in your response. v. 1
With the advent of urbanisation and rapid rise in the popularity of junk food, obesity has become a severe problem in the developed countries. In this essay, I will be walking through with some important measures that can be auctioned to overcome this issue along with relevant examples. In rich countries like US, UK and England, people live a sophisticated life. They hardly do any physical activities like cooking, cleaning, so on at home as according to them everything can be achieved with the power of money. Thus, in such cases, they start consuming junk food regularly. As per the recent survey conducted by the America's Health Organisation, it was identified that around 60% of the population suffer from overweight due to deficiency of proteins and carbohydrates which lacks in burgers, hot dogs, etc. On further investigation, it was found that young children are impacted in the majority. However, as we know, for every problem there is a solution and so is the case of fatness. There are many ways to handle this issue. Firstly, a proper well-planned diet chart should be followed by every individual, especially kids. Here, parents play a vital role in maintaining children's healthy diet by putting restrictions in having french fries, burgers, hot dogs which are easily accessible in every shop. Secondly, the Government should take initiatives in advertising and broadcasting like regularly lectures in the schools and universities to stay fit with balance diet and will help self awareness to children. For instance, in many rural areas in India, the local people come up with street plays depicting the trending news. Such techniques are attractive methodology to create awareness on one's mind. In conclusion, although, obesity is a serious problem in wealthy countries, but in coming years, we can keep ourselves healthy by just following above explained measures.
With the advent of
urbanisation
and rapid rise in the popularity of junk food, obesity has become a severe problem in the
developed countries
. In this essay, I will be walking through with
some
important
measures that can
be auctioned
to overcome this issue along with relevant examples.

In rich countries like US, UK and England,
people
live
a sophisticated life. They hardly do any physical activities like cooking, cleaning,
so
on at home as according to them everything can
be achieved
with the power of money.
Thus
, in such cases, they
start
consuming junk food
regularly
. As per the recent survey conducted by the America's Health
Organisation
, it
was identified
that around 60% of the population suffer from overweight due to deficiency of proteins and carbohydrates which lacks in burgers, hot dogs, etc. On
further
investigation, it
was found
that young children
are impacted
in the majority.

However
, as we know, for every problem there is a solution and
so
is the case of fatness. There are
many
ways to handle this issue.
Firstly
, a proper well-planned diet chart should
be followed
by every individual,
especially
kids. Here, parents play a vital role in maintaining children's healthy diet by putting restrictions in having french fries, burgers, hot dogs which are
easily
accessible in every shop.

Secondly
, the
Government
should take initiatives in advertising and broadcasting like
regularly
lectures in the schools and universities to stay fit with balance diet and will
help
self awareness to children.
For instance
, in
many
rural areas in India, the local
people
come
up with street
plays depicting
the trending news. Such techniques are attractive methodology to create awareness on one's mind.

In conclusion
, although, obesity is a serious problem in wealthy countries,
but
in coming years, we can
keep
ourselves healthy by
just
following above
explained
measures.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that for a person to be successful, he or she should go to university. Others think that it is not necessary to have a university education in order to be successful. Which opinion do you agree with? Include details in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts