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Using points and examples from the talk, explain the two kinds of sampling presented by the professor. v.1

Using points and examples from the talk, explain the two kinds of sampling presented by the professor. v. 1
In a present era, many visitors showing their interest to visit troublesome places like Sahara desert or the Antarctic. Tourists get thrills out of them. This essay shall discuss both pros and cons of them. On the positive side, first of all, visitors can gain the confidence and increase their abilities because such places are full of adventure and they like audacious journey. What is more, Enjoying the beauty of nature is imperative which is possible only by visiting dangerous sites. For instance, after going in Sundarban, if one cannot enter into the jungle, they will never see the beauty of the tiger. Moreover, the places where condition is difficult is less crowded. So, tourists can enjoy their trip. On the other hand, there are numerous drawbacks of visiting such places. In dangerous places there are no facilities available such as telecommunication which is very imperative. However, it is difficult to provide emergency support such as medical or security facilities. For a moment, on the peak of Mount Everest, it is hard to give medical help if person needed. In addition to this, transportation is not accessible and major problem arises for tourists is lack of food. One must have to carry own food items to eat. Also in some places there is a lack of water. To conclude, in my ideology, visiting places where conditions are extreme have advantages to some extent like in increase confidence and enhance potential, but it can lead to difficult situations, such as no medical support or no food and water.
In a present era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
visitors showing their interest to visit troublesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the Sahara desert".
like Sahara desert
or the Antarctic. Tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
thrills out of them. This essay shall discuss both pros and cons of them.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
, visitors can gain the confidence and increase their abilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are full of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
adventure and
they like audacious journey.
What is more
,

Enjoying the beauty of nature is imperative which is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
sites.
For instance
, after going in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sundarban
, if one cannot enter into the jungle, they will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the beauty of the tiger.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where condition is difficult is less crowded.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, tourists can enjoy their trip.

On the other hand
, there are numerous drawbacks of visiting such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
there are no facilities available such as telecommunication which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
imperative.
However
, it is difficult to provide emergency support such as medical or security facilities. For a moment, on the peak of Mount Everest, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to give medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
if person needed.
In addition
to this, transportation is not accessible and major problem arises for tourists is lack of food. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food items to eat.
Also
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
there is a lack of water.

To conclude
, in my ideology, visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where conditions are extreme have advantages to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent like in increase confidence and enhance potential,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can lead to difficult situations, such as no medical support or no food and water.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Using points and examples from the talk, explain the two kinds of sampling presented by the professor. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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