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Some people think that fittest and strongest individual and team can achieve success in sports, while others believe that success depends on mental attitude. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that fittest and strongest individual and team can achieve success in sports, while others believe that success depends on mental attitude. v. 1
People have different views about the factors leading to the triumph in the field of sports. While some argue that athletes and sports teams with the highest level of physical fitness could win competitions, I believe psychological factors are more significant. On the one hand, I understand the reason why it can be argued that physical factors play a pivotal role in sporting success. Perhaps the major argument is that competitions’ outcomes are largely determined by physical fitness, particularly muscular strength and endurance. For example, a weightlifter has to be physically fit enough to lift weights, and it is clear that the stronger he is, the heavier weight he can lift. Another example is that in marathon running, athletes have to consistently run in many hours, and long legs with powerful muscles are necessary so that they can make up a successful athletic performance. Furthermore, sports teams having well-built members could get a competitive edge over other teams and are more likely to succeed in competitions. On the other hand, I am of opinion that mental factors are far more important than physical ones. Firstly, in professional competitions such as Olympic Games or World Cup, it seems that all competitors are talented and well-trained, and mental toughness would significantly affect the overall result. An athlete with the best physical abilities sometimes could make mistakes, and without willpower and perseverance, he would probably become nervous and consequently give up. Secondly, even a team with strongest members, if there were not solidarity and cooperation, could potentially fail the competition. This is particularly the case in soccer where a player could keep the ball and try to score for his own sake instead of passing the ball to other players who have better scoring opportunities. In conclusion, although I acknowledge that good physical conditions could bring advantages to both individuals and teams, I would contend that mental factors such as determination and persistence play a more vital role in sporting success.
People
have
different
views about the
factors
leading to the triumph in the field of sports. While
some
argue that athletes and sports
teams
with the highest level of
physical
fitness could win
competitions
, I believe psychological
factors
are more significant.

On the one hand, I understand the reason why it can
be argued
that
physical
factors
play a pivotal role in sporting success. Perhaps the major argument is that
competitions’
outcomes are
largely
determined by
physical
fitness,
particularly
muscular strength and endurance.
For example
, a weightlifter
has to
be
physically
fit
enough
to lift weights, and it is
clear
that the stronger he is, the heavier weight he can lift. Another example is that in marathon running, athletes
have to
consistently
run in
many
hours, and long legs with powerful muscles are necessary
so
that they can
make
up a successful athletic performance.
Furthermore
, sports
teams
having well-built members could
get
a competitive edge over other
teams
and are more likely to succeed in competitions.

On the other hand
, I am of opinion that mental
factors
are far more
important
than
physical
ones.
Firstly
, in professional
competitions
such as Olympic Games or World Cup, it seems that all competitors
are talented
and well-trained, and mental toughness would
significantly
affect the
overall
result. An athlete with the best
physical
abilities
sometimes
could
make
mistakes, and without willpower and perseverance, he would
probably
become nervous and
consequently
give up.
Secondly
, even a
team
with
strongest
members, if there were not solidarity and cooperation, could
potentially
fail the
competition
. This is
particularly
the case in soccer where a player could
keep
the ball and try to score for his
own
sake
instead
of passing the ball to other players who have better scoring opportunities.

In conclusion
, although I acknowledge that
good
physical
conditions could bring advantages to both individuals and
teams
, I would contend that mental
factors
such as determination and persistence play a more vital role in sporting success.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that fittest and strongest individual and team can achieve success in sports, while others believe that success depends on mental attitude. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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