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Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion? v.5

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. v. 5
It is believed by some that regular exercise is vital in maintaining proper health, while some place more importance on a balanced diet. In my opinion, I consider that physical activity and sports are crucial towards staying healthy. On the one hand, it is considered by some and I agree, that indulging in routine exercising is fundamental for our well-being. People are under a lot of stress these days and modern lifestyle only adds to the strain on our health. Therefore, regular physical activity and participating in sports is the most effective method to counteract these negative impacts on our bodies. In other words, ailments such as heart problems, high cholesterol and obesity can all be efficiently controlled and managed by a co-ordinated regimen of physical activities. On the other hand, it is thought by some that a varied diet is more beneficial for our health. Eating a balanced diet is very important towards nourishing our bodies, thus including an appropriate amount of vegetables and healthy meats provide the body with all the essential nutrients and minerals. It is generally agreed by the medical community globally, that a diverse diet of plant based and white meat is the basis for a healthy lifestyle. Moreover, children nowadays are addicted to junk food, which is a leading cause of teenage weight problems in most developing countries, so switching to a varied diet that includes all ingredients for their healthy growth is crucial in raising a healthy conscious and fit future generation. In conclusion, despite there being differing opinions, I believe that engaging in different types of physical activity and sports is the ideal way forward for living a healthy life.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that regular exercise is vital in maintaining proper health, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
place more importance on a balanced diet. In my opinion, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity and sports are crucial towards staying healthy.

On the one hand, it
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that indulging in routine exercising is fundamental for our well-being.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
these days and modern lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to the strain on our health.
Therefore
, regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity and participating in sports is the most effective method to counteract these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on our bodies.
In other words
, ailments such as heart problems, high cholesterol and obesity can all be
efficiently
controlled and managed by a
Possible spelling mistake found.
co-ordinated
regimen of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that a varied diet is more beneficial for our health. Eating a balanced diet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
towards nourishing our bodies,
thus
including an appropriate amount of vegetables and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
meats provide the body with all the essential nutrients and minerals. It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
by the medical community globally, that a diverse diet of plant based and white meat is the basis for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.
Moreover
, children nowadays
are addicted
to junk food, which is a leading cause of teenage weight problems in most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
switching to a varied diet that includes all ingredients for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
growth is crucial in raising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
conscious and fit future generation.

In conclusion
, despite there being differing opinions, I believe that engaging in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity and sports is the ideal way forward for living a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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