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Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person culture and character from their choice of clothes. do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person culture and character from their choice of clothes. v. 1
A few people believe that it is possible to predict a lot about an individual perception and personality from their style of clothing. I don't agree with this point, because we cannot tell about the personality of the individual and people even if they wear extravagant outfit, it doesn’t mean that they are superb and amiable. First of all, there is a famous quote which says: "Appearances are meant to be deceiving". Despite the appearance, we can't tell in advance what type of man is it. It's hard to make a conclusion without observing the individual, nevertheless, there is a belief that if an individual is wearing neatly and the clothes which he or she wear are spotless, it means that this guy is dapper and has a strong character. Secondly, in my point of view, we had better make a relationship with this individual during a long period of time, which can help us to know more about the personalities and the perception of this individual. For instance, one day I have met a somebody while I was travelling in a foreign country, then became friends and made relationship. At first, I accept this individual as incorrect and awful guy, because at that time he was wearing awkward clothes and they all were old-fashioned. As a result, through a long period of relationship, I understood that he is an awesome individual with superb nature, due to lack of money he had to wear his old clothes, and if he had not done so, he could not make progress in his life. In conclusion, If I had to say about temperament of an individual, I would probably say that we must get to know this individual better at first. Because in my point of view, "appearances are meant to be deceiving".
A few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is possible to predict a lot about an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
perception and personality from their style of clothing. I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
about the personality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even if they wear extravagant outfit, it doesn’t mean that they are superb and amiable.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
quote which says:
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Appearances
are meant
to be deceiving
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Despite the appearance, we can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
in advance what type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is it. It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a conclusion without observing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
,
nevertheless
, there is a belief that if an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is wearing
neatly
and the clothes which he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wears", "wore".
wear
are spotless, it means that this guy is dapper and has a strong character.

Secondly
, in my point of view, we had better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a relationship with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
during a long period of time, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to know more about the personalities and the perception of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
.
For instance
, one day I have met a somebody while I was travelling in a foreign country, then became friends and made relationship. At
first
, I accept this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
as incorrect and awful guy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at that time he was wearing awkward
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
clothes and
they all were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned.
As a result
, through a long period of relationship, I understood that he is an awesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
with superb nature, due to lack of money he had to wear his
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
clothes, and if he had not done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, he could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progress in his life.

In conclusion
, If I had to say about temperament of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, I would
probably
say that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
better at
first
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in my point of view,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
appearances
are meant
to be deceiving
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person culture and character from their choice of clothes. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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