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It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. To what extent do you agree? v.2

It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. v. 2
In recent years, industrialization and modernization have become the necessary issues of each rustic, after that maximizing the city spaces has been considerable. That may be true, but I think that the government should appreciate decorating them more beautiful, too. The reason which I cannot deny is that maximizing the city spaces can solve a lack of land for house construction. In my bucolic, the problems of using lands are extremely nervous, especially in some large cities such as Ho Chi Minh City, Ha Noi, Da Nang. The status of suspended planning is still popular, there are thousands of them in the agrarian which have not been recovered. Predictably, if the government does not care about that, people living in urban areas or moving from the countryside will become homeless, the suspended planning will not be completed. That makes people feel disappointed and there will have more arguments need to be discussed in the near future. On the other hand, It can be said that decorating city spaces more beautiful are being always paralleled with using land effectively. In my opinion, a developing homey needs to pay attention to not only the life quality of people, but also through the form of cities to expand the provincial’s tourism industry. For example, in Hai Phong, the central strip was invested a lot of money in rebuilt the walking street to serve the entertainment needs of people last year. As a result, more tourists come to visit here, and the people live is better and better. In conclusion, I believe that besides using land effectively, making them more beautiful is a considerable issue that the government has to pay attention to.
In recent years, industrialization and modernization have become the necessary issues of each rustic, after that maximizing the city spaces has been considerable. That may be true,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should appreciate decorating them more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, too.

The reason which I cannot deny is that maximizing the city spaces can solve a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
construction. In my bucolic, the problems of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lands
are
extremely
nervous,
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as Ho Chi Minh City, Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
. The status of suspended planning is
still
popular, there are thousands of them in the agrarian which have not
been recovered
.
Predictably
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
does not care about that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in urban areas or moving from the countryside will become homeless, the suspended planning will not
be completed
. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel disappointed and there will have more arguments need to
be discussed
in the near future.

On the other hand
, It can
be said
that decorating city spaces more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'are' and 'being'.
are being always
paralleled with using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
effectively
. In my opinion, a developing homey needs to pay attention to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the life quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
through the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to expand the provincial’s tourism industry.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hai
Possible spelling mistake found.
Phong
, the central strip
was invested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money in rebuilt the walking street to serve the entertainment needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
last year.
As a result
, more tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to visit here, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
is better and better.

In conclusion
, I believe that
besides
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
effectively
, making them more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
is a considerable issue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay attention to.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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