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Some people think that economy progress is the only way to measure a country's success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country's success. What are these factors? Which, of all factors, do you think are most important? v.1

Some people think that economy progress is the only way to measure a country's success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country's success. What are these factors? Which, of all factors, do you think are most important? v. 1
Nowadays, certain number of folks believe that countries accomplishments are determined only on economical growth. In contrast, others argue that there are other reasons too. In my opinion, there are other equally important parameters of successful country. To sum up, there are many indirect and direct contributions in vital to the Nation's thrive. Building a successful nation have become a big business for the government and private sector. In which the well being of citizens consist. Furthermore, energy resources, cultural development, education, food/water resources and the military might statistics are vital to a successful story. For example, educational development of citizens will improve the country's potential of medical science, technology and engineering. As a result, qualitative change in living standards, work health care and defence. In short, the countries relies on many aspects which is indeed to push the economy over the winning line. Especially, education resources are considered as essential than ever before. Moreover, periodical enhancement on educational's, is inclined with the growing population. To illustrate, as a nation Japan became successful from their educational system in which shaping Japanese to overcome many devastating phenomena like a tsunami, earthquake and nuclear attacks. As a result, the Japanese economy stabilizes merely. In a word, citizens being educated also necessary for sheer success along with social development. In conclusion, economic success can be achieved with the success of many potential parameters simply as direct and indirect. In my opinion, every other aspect with education levels are predominant in which the nations drive is overseen.
Nowadays, certain number of folks believe that countries accomplishments
are determined
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth.
In contrast
, others argue that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons too. In my opinion, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parameters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
country. To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
indirect and direct contributions in vital to the Nation's thrive.

Building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
nation have become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
business for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and private sector. In which the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of citizens consist.
Furthermore
, energy resources, cultural development, education, food/water resources and the military might statistics are vital to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
story.
For example
, educational development of citizens will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the country's potential of medical science, technology and engineering.
As a result
, qualitative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in living standards, work health care and
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
. In short, the countries relies on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects which is
indeed
to push the economy over the winning line.

Especially
, education resources
are considered
as
Use "(essential)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
essential
Comparison is written 'as essential "as"'.
than
ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Moreover
, periodical enhancement on educational's,
is inclined
with the growing population. To illustrate, as a nation Japan became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
from their educational system in which shaping Japanese to overcome
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
devastating phenomena like a tsunami, earthquake and nuclear attacks.
As a result
, the Japanese economy stabilizes
merely
. In a word, citizens
being educated
also
necessary for sheer success along with social development.

In conclusion
, economic success can
be achieved
with the success of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
potential parameters
simply
as direct and indirect.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspect with education levels are predominant in which the nations drive is overseen.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that economy progress is the only way to measure a country's success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country's success. What are these factors? Which, of all factors, do you think are most important? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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