Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.18

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 18
It is a common belief among the organisations that dressing smartly is necessary for the workers. Another belief is quality of work is more important than whatever they wear. I will briefly elaborate this situation supporting by being successful at job is more significant. In the modern life, some companies order for their workers wear casual. Due to, the presentable skills related to how appearance. However, many officers stay a long hours with a suit or a dress at the desk. They sometimes can feel uncomfortable. If they have a change to put off these types of clothes, they would prefer wearing a jean and basic T-shirt. During they have continued their best for the company, it is not so crucial to their suit or blue jean. I firmly agree that the people want to do alter their clothes linked to their mood, is the better way. For instance, some high school authorities give the permission to the students to wear civil, not only formal dress. The students have been happy ever they had. On the other hand, the individual who looks attractive is the most successful one in the job. That is to say, the next step should not be casual or having expensive brands in order to rise up company profits. The people who have consciously about the adequate discipline in the job area, when he or she feel more comfortable and free about the rules, they can product easily. For example, a well-known sport shoes brand has been sponsored for the health ministry employee. They have moved and mobile all day with these shoes so quickly. Therefore, the number of patients who visited by the healthcare professionals has been increased. In conclusion, I restate that feel comfortable and free in the job area is so significant to manufacture accurately. The most successful job is not related to worker's appearance. I completely agree the worker who being productive with high quality is the best looking one.
It is a common belief among the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
that dressing
smartly
is necessary for the workers. Another belief is quality of work is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than whatever they wear. I will
briefly
elaborate this situation supporting by being successful at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is more significant.

In the modern life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
order for their workers wear casual. Due to, the presentable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
related to how appearance.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
officers stay a long
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "hour"?
hours
with a suit or a dress at the desk. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
can feel uncomfortable. If they have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to put off these types of clothes, they would prefer wearing a jean and basic T-shirt. During they have continued their best for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
crucial to their suit or blue jean. I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to do alter their clothes linked to their mood, is the better way.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
high school authorities give the permission to the students to wear civil, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
formal dress.

The students have been happy ever they had.
On the other hand
, the individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
looks attractive is the most successful one in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
That is
to say, the
next
step should not be casual or having expensive brands in order to rise up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
profits. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
consciously
about the adequate discipline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
area, when he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "feels", "felt".
feel
more comfortable and free about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, they
The word 'product' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
can product
easily
.
For example
, a well-known sport shoes brand has
been sponsored
for the health ministry employee. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
and mobile all day with these shoes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
quickly
.
Therefore
, the number of patients
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
visited by the healthcare professionals has
been increased
.

In conclusion
, I restate that feel comfortable and free in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
area is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
significant to manufacture
accurately
. The most successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is not related to worker's appearance. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the worker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
being productive with high quality is the best looking one.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts