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Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. What are these factors? Which, of all factors, do you think are most important? v.5

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. What are these factors? Which, of all factors, do you think are most important? v. 5
Some people are of the opinion that economic advancement is the only determinant of a country's success, on the other hand, the rest believe that there are several other factors contributing to the same. Education, life expectancy, safety, per capita income, technological advancement, international relations and equality are few of the many factors which can bring development in a nation apart from developing economy. I believe that most important ones are economic equality, education, safety and gender equality. Economic progress, even though, is a crucial factor contributing to a country's success, it cannot measure the difference that exists between the poor and the rich. The ratio may be highly skewed, with only a few billionaires building the economy and the remaining population crippling with poverty and struggling to even satisfy the basic needs of their families. Thus, it is extremely important to decrease economic inequality to sketch a proper economic scenario of any nation. Also, gender equality and safety of women is essential to ensure that both males and females are treated with due respect, are given equal opportunities and income at the workplace. This also involves educating both males and females, as education plays an important role in shaping a society. Educated citizens can make well informed decisions and can contribute significantly to the development of the nation. For the citizens to live peacefully in the country, it is of utmost importance that proper safety and security is provided. This is possible by enforcing strict rules and having an efficient judicial system which dispenses proper punishment to the criminals. In the world of digitisation, it is also important that the country is technologically capable of dealing with problems and providing services to the people to make their lives comfortable and better. For instance, the recent crisis of 'coronavirus' has left the whole world shaken, but having hospitals and offices equipped with modern solutions can enable people to avail facilities like work from home and not impact economy at a significant level. This also points out that healthcare facilities are essential to ensure good life expectancy of the citizens and ensure healthy living of the citizens. In conclusion, I believe that unlike some, who believe that only economic progress can measure the success of an economy, there are countless other factors which can measure the same. It is essential that a country tries to bring improvement in the determinants discussed above to make the nation more livable and successful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
advancement is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
determinant of a country's success,
on the other hand
, the rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that there are several other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
contributing to the same. Education, life expectancy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
, per capita income, technological advancement, international relations and equality are few of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which can bring development in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
apart from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
ones are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
equality, education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
and gender equality.

Economic progress,
even though
, is a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
contributing to a country's success, it cannot measure the difference that exists between the poor and the rich. The ratio may be
highly
skewed, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few billionaires building the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and the remaining population crippling with poverty and struggling to even satisfy the basic needs of their families.
Thus
, it is
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
inequality to sketch a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
scenario of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
Also
, gender equality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
of women is essential to ensure that both males and females
are treated
with due respect, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal opportunities and income at the workplace. This
also
involves educating both males and females, as education plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in shaping a society. Educated citizens can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well informed
decisions and can contribute
significantly
to the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. For the citizens to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peacefully
in the country, it is of utmost importance that proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
safety
and security
is provided
. This is possible by enforcing strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and having an efficient judicial system which dispenses proper punishment to the criminals.

In the world of
Possible spelling mistake. 'digitisation' is British English.
digitisation
, it is
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
that the country is
technologically
capable of dealing with problems and providing services to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
comfortable and better.
For instance
, the recent crisis of 'coronavirus' has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the whole world shaken,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
having hospitals and offices equipped with modern solutions can enable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to avail facilities like work from home and not impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
at a significant level. This
also
points out that healthcare facilities are essential to ensure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life expectancy of the citizens and ensure healthy living of the citizens.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that unlike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress can measure the success of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, there are countless other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which can measure the same. It is essential that a country tries to bring improvement in the determinants discussed above to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
more livable and successful.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. What are these factors? Which, of all factors, do you think are most important? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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