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Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. what are these factors? which, of all factors, do you think are the most important? v.11

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. what are these factors? which, of all factors, do you think are the most important? v. 11
Economic development is a significant goal for all the nations worldwide. While some people believe it is the only yardstick to measure the success of a country, others disagree, highlighting multiple other important factors. In my opinion, a blend of all elements is essential for a successful society. Many deem several other factors just as important. Firstly, educational progress is an investment for the region in the long run. This is exemplified by many educated professionals, including scientists and physicists, partaking in various researches and securing high profile jobs. Thus, this in return can result not only in economic but also medical and scientific advancement of the state. Secondly, political freedom is considered a vital aspect for a thriving nation. For example, some of the countries have a good economic development yet strict politics and harsh regulations. To further illustrate, one might not be able to express his opinions regarding the political regime openly in gatherings or even online. Hence, I believe despite their economic growth, these countries can't be considered a progressed state. Finally, social security is another parameter to be emphasized. Furthermore, when the government is able to reduce the local crime rates, they can ensure public safety; this would result in the general development of the society. USA is a developed country. However, according to an independent online survey, many of its citizens, in spite of their reasonable income, led unhappy lives. Therefore, even though economic growth is essential for people to be able to provide the basic necessities of life, by itself it doesn’t result in a successful community. Thus, all aspects must be taken into consideration. In conclusion, I think economic progress is only one of the numerous factors that contribute towards a society’s success. As a combination of the economy, security, freedom and education are all equally important for a developed and successful nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economic
development is a significant goal for all the nations worldwide. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
yardstick to measure the success of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, others disagree, highlighting multiple other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors. In my opinion, a blend of all elements is essential for a successful society.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
deem several other factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Firstly
, educational progress is an investment for the region in the long run. This
is exemplified
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educated professionals, including scientists and physicists, partaking in various researches and securing high profile jobs.
Thus
, this in return can result not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
medical and scientific advancement of the state.
Secondly
, political freedom
is considered
a vital aspect for a thriving nation.
For example
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development
yet
strict politics and harsh regulations. To
further
illustrate, one might not be able to express his opinions regarding the political regime
openly
in gatherings or even online.
Hence
, I believe despite their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can't
be considered
a progressed state.
Finally
, social security is another parameter to
be emphasized
.
Furthermore
, when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the local crime rates, they can ensure public safety; this would result in the general development of the society.

USA is a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, according to an independent online survey,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of its citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
their reasonable income, led unhappy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is essential for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be able to provide the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of life, by itself it doesn’t result in a successful community.
Thus
, all aspects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
into consideration.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
progress is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one of the numerous factors that contribute towards a society’s success. As a combination of the economy, security, freedom and education are all
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a developed and successful nation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a country’s success, while others think that there are other factors which can be used to measure a country’s success. what are these factors? which, of all factors, do you think are the most important? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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