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Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology is now replacing their functions. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.3

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology is now replacing their functions. v. 3
Some argue that funding the public library system is wasteful since the computer network can now achieve most of its functions. I disagree with such claims because although technology helps to grant easier access to information and knowledge, I believe it is nowhere near replacing the library system. Provided that computer technology only exists in the cloud which lacks tangible facilities, it cannot replace local library branch's role as the community centre. For starters, local branches regularly hold off-line events for residents. For example, they provide master-gardener lessons, language exchange sessions, and book-signing events. All those activities require physical space for gathering and cannot be substituted by an online system. Secondly, public libraries can be considered as a haven for deprived people. For those who couldn't afford to install air conditioning, in particular, can enjoy free cold breeze in libraries in the summertime. Another crucial factor to consider is that the public library system offers in-person services that computers don't. To begin with, librarians in local branches can provide free on-site reference consultations. In other words, they assist residents with their research topics and make suggestions on research scopes. At the same time, libraries usually sustain partnerships with academic institutes, which means they can assist users to reach out of topic-related experts. The second point to consider is that public libraries can help save and store antique books. Ancient manual scripts, for instance, need substantial efforts to preserve and restore, whereas the internet would not be able to provide this service. In conclusion, provided that information technology lacks physical presence, I do not consent to the argument that it can swap out the public libraries entirely, nor do I think that it is wasteful to support them financially. On the contrary, I believe public libraries have a significant role in society and deserve to receive more funding from the government.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that funding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
library system is wasteful since the computer network can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
achieve most of its functions. I disagree with such claims
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
although technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to grant easier access to information and knowledge, I believe it is nowhere near replacing the library system.

Provided that computer technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
exists in the cloud which lacks tangible facilities, it cannot replace local library branch's role as the community
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
. For starters, local branches
regularly
hold off-line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
for residents.
For example
, they provide master-gardener lessons, language exchange sessions, and book-signing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. All those activities require physical space for gathering and cannot
be substituted
by an online system.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries can
be considered
as a haven for deprived
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. For those who couldn't afford to install air conditioning,
in particular
, can enjoy free
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
breeze in libraries in the
Consider using "summer".
summertime
.

Another crucial factor to consider is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
library system offers in-person services that computers don't. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, librarians in local branches can provide free on-site reference consultations.
In other words
, they assist residents with their research topics and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
suggestions on research scopes. At the same time, libraries
usually
sustain partnerships with academic institutes, which means they can assist users to reach out of topic-related experts. The second point to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
save and store antique books. Ancient manual scripts,
for instance
, need substantial efforts to preserve and restore, whereas the internet would not be able to provide this service.

In conclusion
, provided that information technology lacks physical presence, I do not consent to the argument that it can swap out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries
entirely
, nor do I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is wasteful to support them
financially
.
On the contrary
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries have a significant role in society and deserve to receive more funding from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology is now replacing their functions. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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