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Some people think that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others think that economic growth is causing damage to the environment and should be stopped now. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others think that economic growth is causing damage to the environment and should be stopped now. v. 2
While economic development is often praised as the ultimate solution for sustaining global problems like poverty and hunger, it is equally criticized by its damage caused to the environment. Both these schools of thought hold valid arguments, yet I believe that enhancing economic expansion at the expense of the environment would not be a wise choice for the human being. Indisputably, economic growth so far has been serving effectively in eradicating famine and poverty on a global scale. Millions of children and adults, reportedly, decease every year owning to malnutrition and poverty-related consequences; thus, governments have been fighting restlessly to bring more food to people’s tables. Along with rapid economic growth, there are more and more people with better job prospects and higher salaries. In other words, more people now can afford food and satisfy their essential needs. The contribution of economic growth in battling against poverty and hunger is recognizable. However, striving for economic development does have side effects that have been immensely damaged the environment, and it poses a threat to human survival. A plethora of environmental consequences caused by intensive focus on economic development could be named climate change, air pollution, water contamination, and loss of wildlife habitat. If these also sustaining issues are not prevented or improved, the existence of human beings would be on the verge of danger. Therefore, it is critical to put a brake on the developing global economy in order to keep the earth inhabitable. All things considered, although economic prosperity offers effective remedies to pressing concerns such as hunger and poverty, it is inadequate to ensure environmental security. Given that, governments and individuals should make a collective effort in order to enhance the positive impact of developing economies on people’s living standards and regulate its adverse effects on the Earth.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
praised as the ultimate solution for sustaining global problems like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and hunger, it is
equally
criticized by its damage caused to the environment. Both these schools of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
hold valid arguments,
yet
I believe that enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
expansion at the expense of the environment would not be a wise choice for the human being.

Indisputably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far has been serving
effectively
in eradicating famine and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
on a global scale. Millions of children and adults, reportedly, decease every year owning to malnutrition and poverty-related consequences;
thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have been fighting
restlessly
to bring more food to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
tables. Along with rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth, there are more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with better job prospects and higher salaries.
In other words
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can afford food and satisfy their essential needs. The contribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth in battling against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and hunger is recognizable.

However
, striving for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development does have side effects that have been
immensely
damaged the environment, and it poses a threat to human survival. A plethora of environmental consequences caused by intensive focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development could
be named
climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, air pollution, water contamination, and loss of wildlife habitat. If these
also
sustaining issues are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, the existence of human beings would be on the verge of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
Therefore
, it is critical to put a brake on the developing global economy in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the earth inhabitable.

All things considered, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
prosperity offers effective remedies to pressing concerns such as hunger and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
, it is inadequate to ensure environmental security.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a collective effort in order to enhance the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact of developing economies on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
living standards and regulate its adverse effects on the Earth.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people think that economic growth is the only way to end world poverty and hunger. Others think that economic growth is causing damage to the environment and should be stopped now. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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