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Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. v. 3
Some people believe that the only way to end hunger and poverty is economic growth, while others claim that it should be stopped as it is destroying the natural habitats. In my opinion, I am more inclined to the first viewpoint than the second one. It is undeniable that economic growth takes a heavy toll on the environment. Firstly, there are several factories lacking proper treatment process of industrial gases and releasing a large amount of CO2 into the air. As a result, this process makes the atmosphere becoming more polluted, being responsible for global warming. In addition, to pave the way for economic prosperity, tourism industries have witnessed a sharp increase in the number of tourists, which damages the natural habitats of many sea creatures by a great number of plastic bottles discharged. In Da Nang beach, for instance, the amount of trash littered on the ocean increases significantly annually, directly causing to the reduction of turtle population. However, I claim that to eliminate hunger and poverty, economic growth plays an important role. Firstly, as many international enterprises invest their money to build factories in poor countries, the economic development can get rid of poverty. This is because by constructing these factories, there are more job opportunities which can be generated, allowing local employees to work in these factories and combat poverty. Besides, after ending poverty and improving living standards, individuals have a tendency to support communities by donation. Therefore, a wide range of supplies such as rice and instant noodles can be donated to disaster areas, directly contributing to end hunger. In conclusion, although economic growth has negative impacts on the environment, this development still is a key factor to combat hunger and poverty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
hunger and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
, while others claim that it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
as it is destroying the natural habitats. In my opinion, I am more inclined to the
first
viewpoint than the second one.

It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
takes a heavy toll on the environment.
Firstly
, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
lacking proper treatment process of industrial gases and releasing a large amount of CO2 into the air.
As a result
, this process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the atmosphere becoming more polluted, being responsible for global warming.
In addition
, to pave the way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
prosperity, tourism industries have witnessed a sharp increase in the number of tourists, which damages the natural habitats of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sea creatures by a great number of plastic bottles discharged. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nang
beach,
for instance
, the amount of trash littered on the ocean increases
significantly
annually
,
directly
causing to the reduction of turtle population.

However
, I claim that to eliminate hunger and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role.
Firstly
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
international enterprises invest their money to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
in poor countries, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by constructing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
, there are more job opportunities which can
be generated
, allowing local employees to work in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and combat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
Besides
, after ending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and improving living standards, individuals have a tendency to support communities by donation.
Therefore
, a wide range of supplies such as rice and instant noodles can
be donated
to disaster areas,
directly
contributing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
hunger.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the environment, this development
still
is a key factor to combat hunger and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it should be stopped. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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