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The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. v. 1
Technology has been increasingly used throughout the world (background). This is very apparent in classrooms today. It is disagreed that technology will replace teachers in the classroom. This will be proved by analysing how teachers can cater to the needs of their students as well as motivate and discipline them. A very important aspect of teaching is the ability of the teacher to shape their teaching style to the needs of their students. As an example, if students in any given class are having trouble understanding a classroom topic, the teacher can rephrase the topic and deliver it in a more effective way. A computerized teacher would be less in-tune with what students require and thus would be incapable of doing this. As a result, technology will not replace teachers. Motivation and discipline are key to a student's academic success in the classroom. This is very apparent when teaching children as children require more motivation and discipline to be taught effectively. A technology-based teacher simply cannot accomplish this as certain situations require judgement as to whether a student is acting in an inappropriate manner. After analysing this, it is clear that teachers will always be needed in the classroom. Following the analysation of a teacher's ability to cater to students as well as their capability of guiding students towards success, it is clear that technology will never replace teachers in the classroom. Further, it is expected that technology will act as a supplement to teachers and aid them in instructing their pupils.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has been
increasingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
throughout the world (background). This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
apparent in classrooms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. It
is disagreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the classroom. This will
be proved
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can cater to the needs of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as well
as motivate and discipline them.

A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of teaching is the ability of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
to shape their teaching style to the needs of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. As an example, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
are having trouble understanding a classroom topic, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can rephrase the topic and deliver it in a more effective way. A computerized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
would be less in-tune with what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
require and
thus
would be incapable of doing this.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will not replace teachers.

Motivation and discipline are key to a student's academic success in the classroom. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
apparent when teaching children as children require more motivation and discipline to
be taught
effectively
. A technology-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
simply
cannot accomplish this as certain situations require judgement
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is acting
Consider replacing "in an inappropriate manner" with the adverb for "inappropriate"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an inappropriate manner
. After
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
this, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
will always
be needed
in the classroom.

Following the
Possible spelling mistake found.
analysation
of a teacher's ability to cater to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as well
as their capability of guiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
towards success, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will never replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the classroom.
Further
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will act as a supplement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and aid them in instructing their pupils.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The presence of technology in the classroom has become more and more apparent and offers students tremendous resources with which to supplement their education. Given time, technology will completely replace the traditional teacher in the classroom. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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