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Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organization to continue their development. On the other hand, others think that practical aid or advice is more useful. Discuss both view and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organization to continue their development. On the other hand, others think that practical aid or advice is more useful. v. 1
People have different views on financial support and practical aid. While some think many developing nations should be helped by global organisations, others, however, oppose this view and claims that advice is more reliable than helping financially. I agree with the latter view. On the one hand, it is thought that financial support by external bodies is much needed for the progress of the underdeveloped countries. Because such nations do not have much budget to persist in development programs in the field of infrastructure, particularly in the remote areas. This makes such nations to rely on international bodies for the growth. Moreover, a lot of developing nations are not able to provide tertiary education to their students due to lack in funding and financial support enables them to access to university education and enlighten better job prospects in the future. It is undeniable to say financial assistance from another country is imperative; however, too much financial help make debt on underdeveloped nations and this gives me a reason to not agree with it. On the other hand, others argue that practical advice plays an integral role in the nation’s growth. As vaccination for the prevention of disease and mechanical help actually gives an opportunity to develop a nation. For instance, India recently succeeded in the launch of a bullet train with the assistance of Japanese, undoubtedly, such practical help gives life long experience which can be continued any time for the country's progress. Moreover, it could be thought that practical aid is much more informative than financial help because financial support can be used by many politicians for their own interest instead of using for the public service, which brings corruption, poverty and crime in the nations. Due to these positive views made me agree with them. In conclusion, although financial help from international organisations assists to educate pupils and enable rural people to take advantage of infrastructure, I believe that practical advice will be beneficial in the long run that can be useful anytime.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
aid. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by global
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
, others,
however
, oppose this view and claims that advice is more reliable than helping
financially
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
by external bodies is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
for the progress of the underdeveloped countries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
budget to persist in development programs in the field of infrastructure,
particularly
in the remote areas. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to rely on international bodies for the growth.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are not able to provide tertiary education to their students due to lack in funding and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
enables them to access to university education and enlighten better job prospects in the future. It is undeniable to say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
assistance from another country is imperative;
however
, too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
debt on underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and this gives me a reason to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with it.

On the other hand
, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
advice plays an integral role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
growth. As vaccination for the prevention of disease and mechanical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
actually gives an opportunity to develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For instance
, India recently succeeded in the launch of a bullet train with the assistance of Japanese,
undoubtedly
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
gives life long experience which can
be continued
any time for the country's progress.
Moreover
, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
aid is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
more informative than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
politicians for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest
instead
of using for the public service, which brings corruption, poverty and crime in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Due to these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
views made me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from international
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
assists to educate pupils and enable rural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to take advantage of infrastructure, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
advice will be beneficial in the long run that can be useful anytime.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organization to continue their development. On the other hand, others think that practical aid or advice is more useful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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