Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.15

Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. v. 15
Prior to now, temperature advance is a very real danger that threatens not only for our lives, but also the quality of life of future generations. Deterioration of the environment is occurring rapidly and it would be the cause of imposing a severe threat to people's survival. In my opinion, the regime and cooperation of private companies have both a stronger responsibility and ability in this matter, so that's why individuals should take responsibility that it is not good idea. In this essay, it would be discussed both sides with relevant examples. On the one hand, environmental problems were not able to be simply the responsibility of country personal group because they do not have a power to affect change but authority with corporations can do this. And also, politics can connect both individual and large corporations. Governments are responsible for various things for their citizens, including security, health care, education and others. If all of this would be improved, deterioration of the environment may be recessed. On the other hand, the state should be responsible for combating humidity and global problems when individuals should only have to deal with local and personal problems. Furthermore, there is no doubt that human activity plays in important role in temperature change. Humans have to develop our habits and we are completely capable of doing this, because we still have time to exist. For example, some governments in developing countries like China just pay attention to promote economy and ignore the detrimental effects on the environment. As individuals, people contribute to the climate diversity of simple habits such as leaving the room without turning the lights off or using motorbikes and cars rather than public vehicles. To conclude, there are many dramatic effects of climate change and global warming, which may affect the whole universe. It is the role of governments and individuals to cooperate together to overcome this urgent matter. The government could encourage industries to move to suburbs by providing enough incentives and other financial assistance. Need join forces and a concerted effort rather than working individually to inconsistent targets! ! !
Prior to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, temperature advance is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
that threatens not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the quality of life of future generations. Deterioration of the environment is occurring
rapidly
and it would be the cause of imposing a severe threat to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's survival. In my opinion, the regime and cooperation of private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have both a stronger responsibility and ability in this matter,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should take responsibility that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In this essay, it would
be discussed
both sides with relevant examples.

On the one hand, environmental problems were not able to be
simply
the responsibility of country personal group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have a power to affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
authority with corporations can do this. And
also
, politics can connect both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and large corporations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
are responsible for various things for their citizens, including security, health care, education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. If all of this
Consider removing 'would'. (Usually, 'would' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless to make a request or give a polite order.)
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, deterioration of the environment may
be recessed
.

On the other hand
, the state should be responsible for combating humidity and global problems when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with local and personal problems.
Furthermore
, there is no doubt that human activity plays in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in temperature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
develop our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
habits and
we are completely capable of doing this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
still
have time to exist.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like China
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pay attention to promote economy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the detrimental effects on the environment. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contribute to the climate diversity of simple habits such as leaving the room without turning the lights off or using motorbikes and cars
rather
than public vehicles.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
dramatic effects of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and global warming, which may affect the whole universe. It is the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to cooperate together to overcome this urgent matter. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could encourage industries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to suburbs by providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
incentives and other financial assistance. Need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
forces and a concerted effort
rather
than working
individually
to inconsistent targets! ! !
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts