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Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v.22

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 22
It is indeed that the entrepreneurship has gained momentum as a predominant choice of the people in their professional lives, since last decade. There are few factors, which are responsible for the rapid shift from jobs to businesses. This essay will discuss the reasons for the above notion, along with a negative side of the self-employment. To begin with, the factors that had influenced the people from various fraternities towards the startup. The job at a company would restrict the earning and development of a person at a certain limit. Consequently, many young professionals, who want to build their dynamic careers are inclined to their independent businesses. For instance, the survey conducted by an employment magazine had revealed that, the two third of the IT professionals in India choose to be self-employed, instead of their telephone figure salaries. Moreover, the acceptance of the innovative products in this open market has motivated many ignited minds. Thus, the lucrative opportunity as well as self-esteemed work environment had attracted the people towards the entrepreneurship On the other hand, a practice of the independent work introduces many hurdles to an individual. The monetary issues of the investments are commonly found in major startups. Although, the innumerable opportunities are available in the market to survive a business, the lack of finance has restricted the beginners. For example, to gain the commercial loan a founder of the start-up has to present his business model and security assets; which is the most difficult task for an entrepreneur. Moreover, the self-employed people are responsible not only for the sabotage of his firm, but also the constant stress of the work. In conclusion, the entrepreneurship is beneficial to an individual as well as to the domestic growth. Therefore, to achieve a flourish professional career, one should have the preventive plans to suppress the detrimental effects of the Self-employment over the salaried jobs. Also, the government should motivate such professionals with the formation of the supportive policies.
It is
indeed
that the entrepreneurship has gained momentum as a predominant choice of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, since last decade. There are few factors, which are responsible for the rapid shift from jobs to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
. This essay will discuss the reasons for the above notion, along with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of the self-employment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the factors that had influenced the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various fraternities towards the startup. The job at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
would restrict the earning and development of a person at a certain limit.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
, who want to build their dynamic careers
are inclined
to their independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
For instance
, the survey conducted by an employment magazine had revealed that, the two third of the IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
in India choose to be self-employed,
instead
of their telephone figure salaries.
Moreover
, the acceptance of the innovative products in this open market has motivated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ignited minds.
Thus
, the lucrative opportunity
as well
as self-esteemed work environment had attracted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards the entrepreneurship

On the other hand
, a practice of the independent work introduces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hurdles to an individual. The monetary issues of the investments are
commonly
found in major startups. Although, the innumerable opportunities are available in the market to survive a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, the lack of finance has restricted the beginners.
For example
, to gain the commercial loan a founder of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
present his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
model and security assets; which is the most difficult task for an entrepreneur.
Moreover
, the self-employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are responsible not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the sabotage of his firm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the constant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of the work.

In conclusion
, the entrepreneurship is beneficial to an individual
as well
as to the domestic growth.
Therefore
, to achieve a flourish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
career, one should have the preventive plans to suppress the detrimental effects of the Self-employment over the salaried jobs.
Also
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should motivate such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professionals
with the formation of the supportive policies.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed? v. 22

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
327 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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