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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, but others think the people should have freedom to choose sports activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, but others think the people should have freedom to choose sports activities. v. 1
It is often seen on the news that young people get injured or even killed while playing extreme sports, such as, freshwater cave diving, bungee jumping, skydiving, etc. As a result, citizens are proposing to bar these sports, but the opinion from the opposite side is heard as well, arguing that it is more of a personal decision. From my perspective, I am in favour of implementing prohibitions on these sports. People who support the operation of these dangerous activities state that the government should not interfere with the issue as long as people are willing to pay for these sports and, at the same time, the operation is profitable. It is purely a decision between the two parties. However, I personally find this saying narrow, as players’ families and the local authority are inevitably involved. Youngsters are driven by the adrenaline rush to decide to play these games in most cases without full awareness of the potential risks, which may lead to disability and fatality. Their families are bound to emotionally suffer from the loss of loved ones. Moreover, the city would have to shoulder a much heavier financial burden on public health if the number of participants of unsafe sports were to grow. Therefore, it is no longer a simple trade between two parties. As a matter of fact, all local tax payers shall have a say. To wrap up, risky sports activities should not be allowed without the consent of the participants’ family members, the local government and taxpayers.
It is
often
seen
on the news that young
people
get
injured or even killed while playing extreme
sports
, such as, freshwater cave diving, bungee jumping, skydiving, etc.
As a result
, citizens are proposing to bar these
sports
,
but
the opinion from the opposite side
is heard
as well
, arguing that it is more of a personal decision. From my perspective, I am in
favour
of implementing prohibitions on these sports.

People
who support the operation of these
dangerous
activities state that the
government
should not interfere with the issue as long as
people
are willing to pay for these
sports
and, at the same time, the operation is profitable. It is
purely
a decision between the two parties.

However
, I
personally
find this saying narrow, as players’ families and the local authority are
inevitably
involved. Youngsters
are driven
by the adrenaline rush to decide to play these games
in most cases
without full awareness of the potential
risks
, which may lead to disability and fatality. Their families
are bound
to
emotionally
suffer from the loss of
loved
ones.
Moreover
, the city would
have to
shoulder a much heavier financial burden on public health if the number of participants of unsafe
sports
were to grow.
Therefore
, it is no longer a simple trade between two parties. As a matter of fact, all local tax payers shall have a say.

To wrap up, risky
sports
activities should not be
allowed
without the consent of the participants’ family members, the local
government
and taxpayers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, but others think the people should have freedom to choose sports activities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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