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Some people think that couples should live together before getting married to start knowing each other better and see if they are compatible. Others say that because of this tendency people become immoral and only deep emotional attachment makes a durable alliance. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people think that couples should live together before getting married to start knowing each other better and see if they are compatible. Others say that because of this tendency people become immoral and only deep emotional attachment makes a durable alliance. What is your opinion? v. 1
Marriage has always been considered as the most important event in everyone’s life as it is the beginning of the family and is a life-long commitment between two people. Some of us are convinced that couples are not allowed to live together before the wedding while others believe that this leads to better understanding among lovers. To my mind, joint life without marriage is acceptable and maybe even mandatory. Firstly, I strongly believe that such step prevents a great number of quarrels and divorces. While young people just date they are not involved in day-to-day routine. Living together tests the strength of people’s relationships and allows to see if one can stand beloved’s annoying habits. For example, according to the statistics 2/3 of Americans believe that that moving in together before marriage is a good way to avoid divorce. Therefore, it is much better to end the relations during the dating rather than after marriage. Secondly, I guess that prohibition of sex and other close relations before marriage has been made by the religion and national traditions. Fortunately, nowadays being unchaste is not a sin anymore. That is why joint life gives a chance to realize whether or not a person might spend the rest of life with their current partner. For example, in all developed countries the church does not effects people on the problem of joint life without marriage that leads to the complete absence of moral condemnation. Thus, if a couple strives to live together nobody will sentence them. To conclude, before making such an important step like marriage, partners should try to know each other better and live together if they would like to.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Marriage
has always
been considered
as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in everyone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as it is the beginning of the family and is a life-long commitment between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of us
are convinced
that couples are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
the wedding while others believe that this leads to better understanding among lovers. To my mind, joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is acceptable and maybe even mandatory.

Firstly
, I
strongly
believe that such step
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
a great number of quarrels and divorces.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
date they are not involved in day-to-day routine. Living together
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
the strength of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
relationships and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
if one can stand beloved’s annoying habits.
For example
, according to the statistics 2/3 of Americans believe that that moving in together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to avoid divorce.
Therefore
, it is much better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the relations during the dating
rather
than after marriage.

Secondly
, I guess that prohibition of sex and other close relations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
has
been made
by the religion and national traditions.
Fortunately
, nowadays being unchaste is not a sin anymore.
That is
why joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
gives a chance to realize
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
a person might spend the rest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
partner.
For example
, in all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
the church does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "effect"
effects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the problem of joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
that leads to the complete absence of moral condemnation.
Thus
, if a couple strives to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together nobody will sentence them.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
making such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
step like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, partners should try to know each other better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together if they would like to.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that couples should live together before getting married to start knowing each other better and see if they are compatible. Others say that because of this tendency people become immoral and only deep emotional attachment makes a durable alliance. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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