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Some people think that computers and the internet are more important for a child's education than going to school. But others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn effectively. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that computers and the internet are more important for a child's education than going to school. But others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn effectively. v. 1
People have different views about the manner of indicating their love and respect. Some individuals believe that giving presents is the best way of caring towards our parents and friends, even though some perceive that there are other means of showing their concern. Although, giving a gift is a universal form to show interest, appreciation, and gratitude, in my view it can be done through further various approaches. To start with, there are people who argue that gift-giving is the best idea to express one’s feelings and emotions and remind them how much their presence is pleasant and significant. This simple act, in turn, possibly helps to define relationships and strengthen bonds with family and friends. As an illustrate, we all have carried souvenirs for other from our travels. This is a palatable chance of expressing our passions to make them realize we remind them in our memorable moments and enjoy sharing something about our journey. Subsequently, gifts can bring happiness, joy and close relations. On the other hand, many persons prefer to inculcate their appreciation and tenderness in alien ways than handsel. It is generally believed that, gifting is the only method to maintain relevancies, whereas, a simple smile or a warm hug represents the efforts of caring. For instance, in today’s hectic lives, if someone allocates own quality time to listen other’s problems and try to lift their spirits, is more valuable than any present. Similarly, just a phone call or a visit, especially to distant relatives, is far better than sending gifts. In short, showing special care and affection is ascertainable through numerous alternatives. To conclude, each view point has own attribute. But, I am of the opinion that buying gifts is not only the effective mean to exhibit unconditional love, instead, frequent visiting, calls, going out with our parents and friend can showcase our affection and friendship.
People
have
different
views about the manner of indicating their
love
and respect.
Some
individuals believe that giving presents is the best way of caring towards our parents and friends,
even though
some
perceive that there are
other
means of showing their concern. Although, giving a
gift
is a universal form to
show
interest, appreciation, and gratitude, in my view it can
be done
through
further
various approaches.

To
start
with, there are
people
who argue that gift-giving is the best
idea
to express one’s feelings and emotions and remind them how much their presence is pleasant and significant. This simple act, in turn,
possibly
helps
to define relationships and strengthen bonds with family and friends. As
an illustrate
, we all have carried souvenirs for
other
from our travels. This is a palatable chance of expressing our passions to
make
them realize we remind them in our memorable moments and enjoy sharing something about our journey.
Subsequently
,
gifts
can bring happiness, joy and close relations.

On the
other
hand,
many
persons prefer to inculcate their appreciation and tenderness in alien ways than
handsel
. It is
generally
believed that, gifting is the
only
method to maintain
relevancies
, whereas, a simple smile or a warm hug represents the efforts of caring.
For instance
, in
today
’s hectic
lives
, if someone allocates
own
quality time to listen
other’s
problems and try to lift their spirits, is more valuable than any present.
Similarly
,
just
a phone call or a visit,
especially
to distant relatives, is far better than sending
gifts
. In short, showing special care and affection is ascertainable through numerous alternatives.

To conclude
, each view point has
own
attribute.
But
, I am of the opinion that buying
gifts
is not
only
the effective mean to exhibit unconditional
love
,
instead
, frequent visiting, calls, going out with our parents and friend can showcase our affection and friendship.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that computers and the internet are more important for a child's education than going to school. But others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn effectively. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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