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in modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

in modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. v. 1
Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case. What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed. These days an overwhelming majority of people choose to run their own job rather than being employed by other employment. I am of the opinion that strong desire to be wealthy and also regular field seminars encourage people to start their own trade. However, they may face some difficulties in the future. They're some prominent reasons why people choose to run their own task. Firstly, in many modern societies entrepreneurship is greatly encouraged by a large number of employment seminars and workshops advertisements. These seminars and workshops not only provide individuals with any information which they need to set up their own field, but also people are being told that they have no limit and can easily become as wealthy as a Steve Jobs is. Moreover, individuals, particularly those who are willing to be a field person and live in luxury are convinced that start their own effort. On the other hand, there are some drawbacks associated with self-employment. The first issue that self-employed may face is the necessity of being a jack of all trades specially if the company is very small and they have not enough money. They have to be an accountant, human resource manager and so forth at the same time. It is because they are not able to hire other people to do these tasks. Furthermore, they had to pay taxes and provide their employees with decent working condition. Moreover, due to the fact that companies these days are facing fierce competition, many of them are not able to pay their own bills and debt and go bankrupt. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that being your own master has many downsides and that is why many people decide to industry for other companies or trade.
Nowadays,
many
people
choose to be self-employed,
rather
than to work for a
company
or organization.

Why might this be the case.

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed.

These days an overwhelming majority of
people
choose to run their
own
job
rather
than
being employed
by
other
employment. I am of the opinion that strong desire to be wealthy and
also
regular field seminars encourage
people
to
start
their
own
trade.
However
, they may face
some
difficulties in the future.

They're
some
prominent reasons why
people
choose to run their
own
task.
Firstly
, in
many
modern
societies
entrepreneurship is
greatly
encouraged by
a large number of
employment seminars and workshops advertisements. These seminars and workshops not
only
provide individuals with any information which they need to set up their
own
field,
but
also
people
are being
told
that they have no limit and can
easily
become as wealthy as a Steve Jobs is.
Moreover
, individuals,
particularly
those who are willing to be a field person and
live
in luxury
are convinced
that
start
their
own
effort.

On the
other
hand, there are
some
drawbacks associated with self-employment. The
first
issue that self-employed may face is the necessity of being a jack of all trades
specially
if the
company
is
very
small and
they have not
enough
money. They
have to
be an accountant, human resource manager and
so
forth at the same time. It is
because
they are not able to hire
other
people
to do these tasks.
Furthermore
, they had to pay taxes and provide their employees with decent working condition.
Moreover
, due to the fact that
companies
these days are facing fierce competition,
many
of them are not able to pay their
own
bills and debt and go bankrupt.

In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that being your
own
master has
many
downsides and
that is
why
many
people
decide to industry for
other
companies
or trade.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay in modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or use animal products, for instance, clothing and medicines. v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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