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Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion. v. 2
In the recent decade, with an astronomical development in the technology, we can find many alterations in the way the children spend their free time. To be specific, most of their hours are spent on video games rather than the outdoor games. Let us first cover up the positive and negative aspects of it before coming to a conclusion. On one hand, research suggests that playing a lot of video games can greatly influence a child's problem solving skills and quicker response to any crisis. Their deeper involvement allows them to test their ability in facing different situations. Depending upon the category which a child prefers to play, its psychological capability varies. In some cases, it assists the children in understanding the technology a step deeper. For example, a child who plays quite often can repair his remotes if any problem occurs. This doesn't require any prior knowledge or expertise in the field. Conversely, too much involvement can result in the addiction, which reduces their physical activities and turn them into couch potatoes. Also, people are losing the importance of physical interaction due to excessive attachment to the virtual world. Because of their too much involvement in the computer games, they loose some of the other productive hobbies such as reading books, drawing, dancing, etc. Also, the over exposure to fluctuating lights from the monitor can create damage to their vision at early stages apart from other health issues such as nausea and muscle stiffness. In summarizing both the views, I feel that the disadvantages overweigh the advantages. So it is not much good to be involved in the video games at the risk of inducing obesity in juveniles is very high. It is better to have a control of time so that they can indulge themselves in other productive hobbies also.
In the recent decade, with an astronomical development in the technology, we can find
many
alterations in the way the children spend their free time. To be specific, most of their hours
are spent
on video
games
rather
than the outdoor
games
.
Let
us
first
cover up the
positive
and
negative
aspects of it
before
coming to a conclusion.

On one hand, research suggests that playing
a lot of
video
games
can
greatly
influence a child's problem solving
skills
and quicker response to any crisis. Their deeper involvement
allows
them to
test
their ability in facing
different
situations. Depending upon the category which a child prefers to play, its psychological capability varies. In
some
cases, it assists the children in understanding the technology a step deeper.
For example
, a child who plays quite
often
can repair his remotes if any problem occurs. This doesn't require any prior knowledge or expertise in the field.

Conversely
, too much involvement can result in the addiction, which
reduces
their physical activities and turn them into couch potatoes.
Also
,
people
are losing the importance of physical interaction due to excessive attachment to the virtual world.
Because
of their too much involvement in the computer
games
, they loose
some of the
other productive hobbies such as reading books, drawing, dancing, etc.
Also
, the over exposure to fluctuating lights from the monitor can create damage to their vision at early stages apart from other health issues such as nausea and muscle stiffness.

In summarizing both the views, I feel that the disadvantages
overweigh
the advantages.
So
it is not much
good
to
be involved
in the video
games
at the
risk
of inducing obesity in juveniles is
very
high. It is better to have a control of time
so
that they can indulge themselves in other productive hobbies
also
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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