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It is often argued that children must be protected from unsuitable material on TV and the Internet by government censorship. Others say that this is the parents' responsibility to control what their children do and watch. To what extent do you th v.2

It is often argued that children must be protected from unsuitable material on TV and the Internet by government censorship. Others say that this is the parents' responsibility to control what their children do and watch. 2
Nowadays, television and the Internet have become an essential part of life providing people with unlimited information and programs which may not be right for all ages, especially children. Whether it is the responsibility of parents or the government to avoid children being exposed to such material has always aroused a controversy. The government has the authority to severely control the programs on television as well as the content of the websites. Governmental officials are allowed to assign some expert producers in television industry who are educated professionally to distinguish which programs are suitable for children. They can observe the TV programs’ schedule thoroughly to let inappropriate TV series or programs be broadcasted later at night when children are asleep. This, consequently, prevents children viewing unfavorable programs. Moreover, the authorities can set some regulations on access to the websites. For instance, they can introduce children SIM cards to the market, allowing children to use the Internet via their cellphones for just some educational and entertaining websites. In this way, children are able to benefit from the Internet without being disturbed by improper materials. Parents, on the other hand, can play a pivotal role too. Having a close relationship with their children, parents are capable of offering some alternative programs, keeping children away from television and the Internet for some time. Going to playgrounds, doing some sports, and attending some entertaining classes are all substitutions which are more beneficial for children. Furthermore, parents are able to advise and convince their children on the adverse effects of some undesirable programs, as they know their own children better than others. Mothers and fathers can manage their children in a way that they become reluctant to inadequate material on TV or the Internet. All in all, considering the potentials of both parents and the government to address the issue, I, for one, opine that they can optimally control the exposure of the children to improper material by joining their hands and trying to make their individual contributions properly.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and the Internet have become an essential part of life providing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with unlimited information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
which may not be right for all ages,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Whether it is the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being exposed
to such material has always aroused a controversy.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has the authority to
severely
control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
as well
as the content of the websites. Governmental officials are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to assign
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expert producers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
industry who
are educated
professionally
to distinguish which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They can observe the TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs’
schedule
thoroughly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
inappropriate TV series or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
be broadcasted
later at night when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are asleep. This,
consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
viewing unfavorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
.
Moreover
, the authorities can set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regulations on access to the websites.
For instance
, they can introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
SIM cards to the market, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet via their cellphones for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educational and entertaining websites. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are able to benefit from the Internet without
being disturbed
by improper materials.

Parents,
on the other hand
, can play a pivotal role too. Having a close relationship with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are capable of offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
away from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and the Internet for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time. Going to playgrounds, doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sports, and attending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
entertaining classes are all substitutions which are more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are able to advise and convince their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on the adverse effects of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
undesirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
, as they know their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
better than others. Mothers and fathers can manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a way that they become reluctant to inadequate material on TV or the Internet.

All in all, considering the potentials of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to address the issue, I, for one, opine that they can
optimally
control the exposure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to improper material by joining their hands and trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their individual contributions
properly
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is often argued that children must be protected from unsuitable material on TV and the Internet by government censorship. Others say that this is the parents' responsibility to control what their children do and watch. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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