Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion. v. 7
One of the highly controversial issues today relates to whether playing computer games is a boon or has an adverse effect on youngsters. This essay will discuss both merits and drawbacks and why I believe that electronic games have more adverse effects compared to the advantages. On one side of the argument, some people believe that computerized games have benefited children in many ways. The main merit is that it has improved the learning skills of many children, moreover, there has been a drastic change in their decision-making skills. For instance, a child playing a game like a road racer has to make a quick decision of what the next turn or move will be to win the game. Hence, this ability to think quickly and react to the situation makes them a quick decision-maker. Another positive aspect of the digital games is, that a youngster playing in one city can connect online with many other children around the world. On the flip side, it has major negative impacts as well. Firstly, a child's behaviour tends to get more and more aggressive because of playing video games that have action or violence in it. For example, games like ninja and street fighters can impact the thinking of a child, they start to believe that, they can also fight and win like in games. Thus, these games can be harmful to the youngster playing it, along with others with whom they are with. Secondly, teens who play electronic games throughout the day end up having less physical activity, which in turn leads to health problems like obesity due to no exercise, eye problems at a young age. In conclusion, individuals believe that computerized games have benefits and demerits. On balance, it is my perspective that this has a dreadful effect on young teens. This is because it is my firm belief that it affects the thinking ability negatively along with having a bad impact on the physical health of teens.
One of the
highly
controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is a boon or has an adverse effect on youngsters. This essay will discuss both merits and drawbacks and why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have more adverse effects compared to the advantages.

On one side of the argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that computerized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have benefited children in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. The main merit is that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children,
moreover
, there has been a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their decision-making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, a child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a game like a road racer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a quick decision of what the
next
turn or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
will be to win the game.
Hence
, this ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
quickly
and react to the situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them a quick decision-maker. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect of the digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is, that a youngster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
in one city can connect online with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other children around the world.

On the flip side, it has major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts
as well
.
Firstly
, a child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
tends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more and more aggressive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that have action or violence in it.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like ninja and street fighters can impact the thinking of a child, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that, they can
also
fight and win like in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be harmful to the youngster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
it, along with others with whom they are with.
Secondly
, teens who play electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
throughout the day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up having less physical activity, which in turn leads to health problems like obesity due to no exercise, eye problems at a young age.

In conclusion
, individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that computerized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have benefits and demerits. On balance, it is my perspective that this has a dreadful effect on young teens. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is my firm belief that it affects the thinking ability
negatively
along with having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on the physical health of teens.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that computer games are bad for children, while others believe that they are useful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of computer games and give your own opinion. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts