Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.17

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 17
It is argued that students should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Despite the advantages this might have, I believe the benefits of beginning to learn a secondary language at primary school years far outweigh any drawbacks. Admittedly, there would be some disadvantages for kids to start learning a foreign language at the primary school levels. Some experts would deem primary school students not capable of learning a foreign language. They attribute this to their incompletely developed brains that make acquiring a new language look like a formidable task. Another disadvantage is that primary school students will have more subjects to study, and therefore, this would garner information in their heads in an extravagant way. To illustrate more, if children didn't have a foreign language to study at primary school, they will have the ability to memorize more efficiently in other important subjects. Nonetheless, I presume these drawbacks are not substantial and can be minimised by the organising the students' time and efforts. Notwithstanding the drawbacks above, I think that there are many pros overtaking any other cons. Firstly, it is scientifically proven that children's brains are more able to learn foreign languages than that of older students. This is because the process of learning languages involves a specific area of the brain, which works more effectively in younger than older students. One more crucial advantage is that starting to study a foreign language at an early school level enables students to master the language year-on-year until they reach the secondary school. For example, I personally began to learn English earlier at primary school. By dint of hard work alongside the availability of time, I managed to set a brilliant example of a fluent English speaker. To conclude, in spite of the drawbacks such as increasing the number of subjects, I strongly believe the advantages held by the efficiency of young brains with more given time to master a foreign language when learning it at primary school instead of secondary school outweigh all disadvantages.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Despite the advantages this might have, I believe the benefits of beginning to learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
years far outweigh any drawbacks.

Admittedly
, there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages for kids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
levels.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
experts would deem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not capable of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. They attribute this to their
incompletely
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brains
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
acquiring a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
look like a formidable task. Another disadvantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have more subjects to study, and
therefore
, this would garner information in their heads
Consider replacing "in an extravagant way" with the adverb for "extravagant"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an extravagant way
. To illustrate more, if children didn't have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to study at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they will have the ability to memorize more
efficiently
in other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects. Nonetheless, I presume these drawbacks are not substantial and can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimised' is British English.
minimised
by the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
the students' time and efforts.

Notwithstanding the drawbacks above, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pros overtaking any other cons.
Firstly
, it is
scientifically
proven that children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brains
are more able to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
than that of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the process of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
involves a specific area of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
, which works more
effectively
in younger than older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. One more crucial advantage is that starting to study a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
level enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to master the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
year-on-year until they reach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
, I
personally
began to learn English earlier at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. By dint of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work alongside the availability of time, I managed to set a brilliant example of a fluent English speaker.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the drawbacks such as increasing the number of subjects, I
strongly
believe the advantages held by the efficiency of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brains
with more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time to master a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
it at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
outweigh all disadvantages.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts