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Some people think that children should not watch television because it has negative effects while others believe that TV helps children. What is your opinion. v.1

Some people think that children should not watch television because it has negative effects while others believe that TV helps children. What is your opinion. v. 1
It’s often supposed that TV has bad ìnluences on children so they should not watch it. However, I strongly agree with the idea that children receive various benefits from watching TV The first benefit of watching TV is widening children’s knowledge. There is a large range of educational channels that broadcast school subjects, which will help children study at home in their free time, thus they will feel comfortable and easily increase their knowledge. For example, Foreign language teaching programs are often shown on television through interesting ways, consequently, by watching them, children can simply study foreign dialect. The second advantage of TV that influences children is that it helps them relax after stressful classes. TV usually televises interesting programs, such as game show, music and art, which helps children don't only relax but also educate them about social knowledge, thus they will waste time on useless things. For instance, “Who is the millionaire? ”, which is broadcast every Friday, is a quiz show involving all areas of life, thus through this program, children will learn a lot about the world around them. In conclusion, although TV still has a few bad effects on children, it’s advantage is far more significant.
It’s
often
supposed that TV has
bad
ìnluences
on
children
so
they should not
watch
it.
However
, I
strongly
agree
with the
idea
that
children
receive various benefits from watching TV

The
first
benefit of watching TV is widening
children’s
knowledge. There is a large range of educational channels that broadcast school subjects, which will
help
children
study at home in their free time,
thus
they will feel comfortable and
easily
increase their knowledge.
For example
, Foreign language teaching programs are
often
shown on television through interesting ways,
consequently
, by watching them,
children
can
simply
study foreign dialect.

The second advantage of TV that influences
children
is that it
helps
them relax after stressful classes. TV
usually
televises interesting programs, such as game
show
, music and art, which
helps
children
don't
only
relax
but
also
educate them about social knowledge,
thus
they will waste time on useless things.
For instance
, “Who is the millionaire? ”, which is broadcast every Friday, is a quiz
show
involving all areas of life,
thus
through this program,
children
will learn a lot about the world around them.

In conclusion
, although TV
still
has a few
bad
effects on
children
, it’s advantage is far more significant.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children should not watch television because it has negative effects while others believe that TV helps children. What is your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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