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Some people think that children centres provide the best services for children play school age other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids v.2

Some people think that children centres provide the best services for children play school age other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids v. 2
Undoubtedly, modern era has under gone dramatic changes in last few decades. presently, people have a sedentary life style. so, they prefer to send their children into play schools. however, masses is supposed to be grandparents the bes t caretaker. here, I would accord with this notion. There are manifold points to endorse former view. first and foremost, staff who are hired for care taking. they are well trained. to be demonstrate, they have done diippomas and degrees in this field. hence, staff of play schools can mould a child into a well citizen. next, offsprings can learn various things here such as communicational skill, team spirit, virtue of sharing and so on which are fruitful for their future. children can learn from their peers while playing they can learn so many virtue of life which is unlikely to be feasible in case of grandparents because old people are not physically able to play with kids. therefore, child cares are far better option to children. by contrasting, others have conflicting view. They opime that, if kids spend time with grandparents, then it will not only productive for children, but also better for grandparents because grandparents feel loneliness with kids. According to a recent sarvey 60 % female say their child are safe when they live with their family members. Also, senior citizen are the great source of knowledge for kids because they come across many aspects I' m their life. they can teach to juvenile to about their culture and tradition moreover, if children spend time with their grandparents, them they can become the sensior and no generation gap left between family member. To conclude, although play schools are beat for children. but we should not under estimate the value of grandparents. They can also become a well child taker if they get a chance l.
Undoubtedly
, modern era has
under gone
dramatic
changes
in last few decades.
presently
,
people
have a sedentary life style.
so
, they prefer to
send
their
children
into
play
schools.
however
, masses
is supposed
to be
grandparents
the
bes t
caretaker.
here
, I would accord with this notion.

There are manifold points to endorse former view.
first
and foremost, staff who
are hired
for care taking.
they
are
well trained
.
to
be
demonstrate
, they have done
diippomas
and degrees in this field.
hence
, staff of
play
schools can
mould
a
child
into a well citizen.
next
,
offsprings can
learn various things here such as
communicational
skill
, team spirit, virtue of sharing and
so
on which are fruitful for their future.
children
can learn from their peers while playing they can learn
so
many virtue
of life which is unlikely to be feasible in case of
grandparents
because
old
people
are not
physically
able to
play
with
kids
.
therefore
,
child
cares are far better option to
children
.
by
contrasting, others have conflicting view.

They
opime
that, if
kids
spend time with
grandparents
, then it will not
only
productive for
children
,
but
also
better for
grandparents
because
grandparents
feel loneliness with
kids
. According to a recent
sarvey
60 % female say their
child
are safe when they
live
with their family members.
Also
, senior citizen are the great source of knowledge for
kids
because
they
come
across
many
aspects
I&
#039; m their life.
they
can teach to juvenile to about their culture and tradition
moreover
, if
children
spend time with their
grandparents
, them they can become the
sensior
and no generation gap
left
between family member.

To conclude
, although
play
schools
are beat
for
children
.
but
we should not under estimate the value of
grandparents
. They can
also
become a well
child
taker if they
get
a chance l.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children centres provide the best services for children play school age other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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