Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that children centres provide the best services for children play school age other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids v.2

Some people think that children centres provide the best services for children play school age other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids v. 2
Undoubtedly, modern era has under gone dramatic changes in last few decades. presently, people have a sedentary life style. so, they prefer to send their children into play schools. however, masses is supposed to be grandparents the bes t caretaker. here, I would accord with this notion. There are manifold points to endorse former view. first and foremost, staff who are hired for care taking. they are well trained. to be demonstrate, they have done diippomas and degrees in this field. hence, staff of play schools can mould a child into a well citizen. next, offsprings can learn various things here such as communicational skill, team spirit, virtue of sharing and so on which are fruitful for their future. children can learn from their peers while playing they can learn so many virtue of life which is unlikely to be feasible in case of grandparents because old people are not physically able to play with kids. therefore, child cares are far better option to children. by contrasting, others have conflicting view. They opime that, if kids spend time with grandparents, then it will not only productive for children, but also better for grandparents because grandparents feel loneliness with kids. According to a recent sarvey 60 % female say their child are safe when they live with their family members. Also, senior citizen are the great source of knowledge for kids because they come across many aspects I' m their life. they can teach to juvenile to about their culture and tradition moreover, if children spend time with their grandparents, them they can become the sensior and no generation gap left between family member. To conclude, although play schools are beat for children. but we should not under estimate the value of grandparents. They can also become a well child taker if they get a chance l.
Undoubtedly
, modern era has
This word is normally spelled as one.
under gone
dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in last few decades.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
presently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a sedentary life style.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
, they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
schools.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, masses
is supposed
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bes t
caretaker.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
here
, I would accord with this notion.

There are manifold points to endorse former view.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
first
and foremost, staff who
are hired
for care taking.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well trained
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
be
Consider using a past participle here: "demonstrated".
demonstrate
, they have done
Possible spelling mistake found.
diippomas
and degrees in this field.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
, staff of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
schools can
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
into a well citizen.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
next
,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings can
learn various things here such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
communicational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, team spirit, virtue of sharing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which are fruitful for their future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
children
can learn from their peers while playing they can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible agreement error. The noun virtue seems to be countable; consider using: "many virtues".
many virtue
of life which is unlikely to be feasible in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not
physically
able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
cares are far better option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
contrasting, others have conflicting view.

They
Possible spelling mistake found.
opime
that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
spend time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
, then it will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
productive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
feel loneliness with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. According to a recent
Possible spelling mistake found.
sarvey
60 % female say their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
are safe when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their family members.
Also
, senior citizen are the great source of knowledge for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m their life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
can teach to juvenile to about their culture and tradition
moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
, them they can become the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sensior
and no generation gap
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
between family member.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
schools
are beat
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
but
we should not under estimate the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
. They can
also
become a well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
taker if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance l.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Some people think that children centres provide the best services for children play school age other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better cares for their kids v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts