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Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. v. 1
There is much debate regarding who should cater to a toddler while their mother and father are at work. A portion of people believe that direct family members should be responsible, whereas, others believe that nurseries offer the most adequate care. This essay will discuss both these views, followed by a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, day care employees are often well trained to execute their jobs efficiently. In addition to this, since they are being paid, they are constantly attentive to childrens needs. However, they may be insufficient in terms of an emotional connection and support. This is because, the child is not accustomed to them, as well as, they are not very keen on forming deep bonds. Furthermore, child care centre's are open during certain times, often the same times as typical 9-5 jobs, therefore, they are very accessible and reliable. For example, my father found great help in dropping my brother and I at a nursery while he was busy, they took great care of us, but he had to cut his time short because they closed at 3 pm sharp, and his work ended at 4. On the other hand, the trust that exists between a kid and his grandparent is unmatched. This set up comes as a relief for the mother as she trusts that her kids are in safe, familair hands. Moreover, a grandmother, for instance, would be very well aware of the childs schedule and important things such as, allergies. These are imperative points that a supervisor at a daycare centre might miss out on. On the contrary, a neglible disadvantage is that, elderly people often forget about small details and always fall asleep. Hence, that might pose a direct threat on a youngsters well being. To illustrate, my grandfather always took care of my sister and would always nap during her bathroom time, in turn, my parents would return to find that she wet herself. In conclusion, although there is much debate surrounding this topic, I believe youngsters should be cater'd to by their bloodline. This is a safer and more trustworthy set up.
There is much debate regarding who should cater to a toddler while their mother and father are at work. A portion of
people
believe that direct family members should be responsible, whereas, others believe that nurseries offer the most adequate
care
. This essay will discuss both these views, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand, day
care
employees are
often
well trained
to execute their jobs
efficiently
.
In addition
to this, since they are
being paid
, they are
constantly
attentive to
childrens
needs.
However
, they may be insufficient in terms of an emotional connection and support. This is
because
, the child is not accustomed to them, as
well
as, they are not
very
keen on forming deep bonds.
Furthermore
, child
care
centre's
are open during certain
times
,
often
the same
times
as typical 9-5 jobs,
therefore
, they are
very
accessible and reliable.
For example
, my father found great
help
in dropping my brother and I at a nursery while he was busy, they took great
care
of us,
but
he had to
cut
his
time
short
because
they closed at 3 pm sharp, and his work ended at 4.

On the other hand
, the trust that exists between a kid and his grandparent
is unmatched
. This set up
comes
as a relief for the mother as she trusts that her kids are in safe,
familair
hands.
Moreover
, a grandmother,
for instance
, would be
very
well
aware of the
childs
schedule and
important
things such as, allergies. These are imperative points that a supervisor at a daycare
centre
might miss out on.
On the contrary
, a
neglible
disadvantage is that, elderly
people
often
forget about
small
details
and always fall asleep.
Hence
, that might pose a direct threat on
a youngsters
well being
. To illustrate, my grandfather always took
care
of my sister and would always nap during her bathroom
time
, in turn, my parents would return to find that she wet herself.

In conclusion
, although there is much debate surrounding this topic, I believe youngsters should be
cater
'd to
by
their bloodline. This is a safer and more trustworthy set up.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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