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Some people think that books should be stopped in schools that film videos and computer should be used to what extent do you agree v.1

Some people think that books should be stopped in schools that film videos and computer should be used 1
Many people believe that schools should use contemporary educational devices, instead of the traditional sources for teaching. However, I partially agree with this thought. I believe that the role of books cannot be altogether eliminated in the schools. People, who are in the favour of replacing Books with the modern devices, believe that these devices make teaching more interactive. The use of audio- visual aids, for example, helps in making teaching interesting. The increased interest of the students in the class automatically results in more understanding of the subject. In addition, teaching will be more effective when the students are explained, about the content, with the help of films or visual graphics. Students tend to grab more of what they see, than what they hear. It is also proved in a research by ‘The time’ that the students can remember only 30% of a lecture on an average while this ratio was 70%, if the same thing is explained with the help of graphics. However, I am in the favour of using textbooks for studies at schools. Primarily, because books are the basis of studies, that the students can carry to their homes. Hence, this provide flexible teaching. Secondly, these are designed according to the requirements of the course, therefore act as the best reference material. In absence of books the students will have to depend entirely on the teachers. To conclude, I consider that schools should use a combination of books as well as modern different devices to enhance the effectiveness of teaching and learning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that schools should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
contemporary educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
,
instead
of the traditional sources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
.
However
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. I believe that the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
cannot be altogether eliminated in the schools.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
, who are in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Books
with the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
, believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
more interactive. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of audio- visual aids,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
interesting. The increased interest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
automatically
results in more understanding of the subject.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
will be more effective when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
, about the content, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of films or visual graphics.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
tend to grab more of what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, than what they hear. It is
also
proved in
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
by ‘The time’ that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can remember
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30% of a lecture on an average while this ratio was 70%, if the same thing is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of graphics.

However
, I am in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of using textbooks for studies at schools.
Primarily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are the basis of studies, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can carry to their homes.
Hence
,
The verb 'provide' is plural. Did you mean: "this provides"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this provide
flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
.
Secondly
, these
are designed
according to the requirements of the course,
therefore
act as the best reference material. In absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend
entirely
on the teachers.

To conclude
, I consider that schools should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as well
as modern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
to enhance the effectiveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
and learning.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that books should be stopped in schools that film videos and computer should be used 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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