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some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead. to what extend do you agree? v.6

some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead. v. 6
It is suggested by some people that teaching with books are fine and there is no need for a change, whilst others believe that books should be replaced with video tutorials and movies in school which seems logical. On the one hand, some people suggest that books are adequate for studying and there is no need for other educational tools like video instruction. These people suggest that films tend to make people lose their concentration and do not concentrate on the actual lesson, making it harder for the teacher to teach. This, however, seems to be incorrect, because students cannot concentrate unless the lesson is appealing for them, so it is not the matter of tools which is being taught with, it is the matter of the content of the book. The more logical argument is that as the new technologies arise, individuals and organizations should adapt themselves to them and educational establishments like schools and universities are not an exception. With teaching with new educational software, not only can pupils learn better, but also the lesson becomes more attracting for them. However, schools should not get rid of books completely; they can also make use of books as a side-tool for teaching. On balance, there are better devices for teaching other than books so educational establishments should apply new methods of training like software and movies.
It
is suggested
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that teaching with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are fine and there is no need for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, whilst others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
should
be replaced
with video tutorials and movies in school which seems logical.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are adequate for studying and there is no need for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
tools like video instruction. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that films tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their concentration and do not concentrate on the actual lesson, making it harder for the teacher to teach. This,
however
, seems to be incorrect,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
students cannot concentrate unless the lesson is appealing for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not the matter of tools which is
being taught
with, it is the matter of the content of the book.

The more logical argument is that as the new technologies arise, individuals and organizations should adapt themselves to them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
establishments like schools and universities are not an exception. With teaching with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
software, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can pupils learn better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the lesson becomes more attracting for them.
However
, schools should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
completely; they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as a side-tool for teaching.

On balance, there are better devices for teaching other than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
establishments should apply new methods of training like software and movies.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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