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Everyone should be encouraged to use fewer resources rather than recycle more. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.1

Everyone should be encouraged to use fewer resources rather than recycle more. v. 1
It is a fact that people should be encouraged to participate in more recycling activities and should reduce the consumption of resources, as this will improve the life of sea animals and also fulfil the demand of the general public. I completely agree with this statement and in this essay, I will explain the reasons for my position. To begin with, people must be encouraged to support lesser consumption of resources, as this will increase the chances of our future generation survival. Saving energy, especially electricity, could help us to utilise our resources more appropriately. For instance, in Pakistan, many villages are living in darkness because of the lack of electricity. Even though people are willing to pay for electricity, unfortunately, the demand for electric power cannot be fulfilled because of the overconsumption of lights in urban areas. Consequently, people have to live without electricity because of the improper management of energy resources. It is undeniable that recycling more items could decrease environmental degradation. Plastic, for example, has been a growing problem, which needs to be addressed immediately. It has been observed that most of the plastic produced by companies for different purposes end up in the ocean. All around the world, it is common that seashores are filled with plastic garbage, and it has also claimed the lives of many sea creatures. Therefore, people must more involve in recycling activities and make every effort to reduce plastic pollution as much as possible. To conclude, less consumption of natural resources will not only solve the problem of electricity in many developing countries but also save the lives of many sea animals.
It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be encouraged
to participate in more recycling activities and should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the consumption of resources, as this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the life of sea animals and
also
fulfil the demand of the
Consider using "public".
general public
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and in this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons for my position.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
to support lesser consumption of resources, as this will increase the chances of our future generation survival. Saving energy,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
our resources more
appropriately
.
For instance
, in Pakistan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
villages are living in darkness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
.
Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
, unfortunately, the demand for electric power cannot
be fulfilled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the overconsumption of lights in urban areas.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the improper management of energy resources.

It is undeniable that recycling more items could decrease environmental degradation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Plastic
,
for example
, has been a growing problem, which needs to
be addressed
immediately. It has
been observed
that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
produced by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in the ocean. All around the world, it is common that seashores
are filled
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
garbage, and it has
also
claimed the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sea creatures.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
more involve in recycling activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
pollution as much as possible.

To conclude
, less consumption of natural resources will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solve the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electricity
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
save the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sea animals.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay Everyone should be encouraged to use fewer resources rather than recycle more. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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