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Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest taxpayers money in healthcare, others believe that money should be use in other areas. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion. v.2

Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest taxpayers money in healthcare, others believe that money should be use in other areas. v. 2
It is becoming a controversial issue that in which sector governments should invest money. Some people suggest that governments must pay attention on health sector, while some of considered others sector. There are arguments on both sides on this very topical debate and I will discuss them now. On one hand, healthcare section is most pivotal for a country because sometimes a country how developed it depends on how much improved their health sector. Spending money on health sector could bring a healthier and happier society, so bureaucrats should emphasis on it. For example, those people, who cannot afford to pay doctors fee, their charge must be free, on that case and authorities provide some free medicines and treatments to relive their economical pressure. On the other hand, it cannot be denied the importance of others sector like education and transportation. There have also arguments to support this view. A country need to ameliorate others infrastructure in order to turn into a developed country. So distributing taxpayers money to improve other public facilities is also valuable for citizen. For instance, education sector should have received similar funds because there are so many children, those who are not capable to pay their school fee, which should not be ignored by bureaucrats. They have right to get basic needs form authorities. To sum up, though health sector is the paramount area in a nation but others faculty have similar importance, so authorities should take strategy to spend money in order to make debate among people about this phenomenon.
It is becoming a controversial issue that in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay attention on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of considered others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. There are arguments on both sides on this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
topical debate and I will discuss them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

On one hand, healthcare section is most pivotal for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
how developed it depends on how much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
could bring a healthier and happier society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
bureaucrats should emphasis on it.
For example
, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who cannot afford to pay doctors fee, their charge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be free, on that case and authorities provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
free medicines and treatments to relive their economical pressure.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it cannot
be denied
the importance of others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
like education and transportation. There have
also
arguments to support this view. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
need to ameliorate others infrastructure in order to turn into a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
distributing taxpayers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
public facilities is
also
valuable for citizen.
For instance
, education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
should have received similar funds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children, those who are not capable to pay their school fee, which should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by bureaucrats. They have right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
basic needs form authorities.

To sum up, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is the paramount area in a nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others faculty have similar importance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
authorities should take strategy to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
debate among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about this phenomenon.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest taxpayers money in healthcare, others believe that money should be use in other areas. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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