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Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have a chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? v.3

Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have a chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? v. 3
With the technological advances in the field of the internet, the online communication has become one of the hottest topics. Many people believe that it has broken the geographical barriers and hence, has helped them to meet new people. This advancement has offered various benefits and shortcomings. The major benefit is that it connects people irrespective of the distance. It has provided communities with mediums such as Facebook, Twitter, etc. , to connect with people of similar interests. Connecting with new people from different cultures, helps in broadening the mindset of the person, which further suffices the psychological needs. Another benefit is that, it keeps friends and family connected with the individual, even when he/she is overseas. For example, anyone can connect with their families over Whatsapp, Twitter, Facebook, VoIP calls, etc. , because the cost of such services is very less and the connectivity is high, when compared to other mediums. However, it has some shortcomings as well. The most threatening disadvantage is the impact of decreased face to face conversations on humankind. Physical contact is necessary for any human mind to grow and stay sane. But the advent of multiple social networking sites has made people addicted to them, therefore, there is very less or no time for actual communication with friends and family. Second major disadvantage is that young children are often targeted by con persons over the social networking sites, who try to exploit the innocence of the children. For instance, multiple cases have reported where thieves used to befriend the kids of the house before the theft. In conclusion, like every coin has two sides, similarly online communication has both advantages and disadvantages. Any community can easily minimize the disadvantages by staying alert, careful and guiding their kids about the web crimes.
With the technological advances in the field of the internet, the online communication has become one of the hottest topics.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it has broken the geographical barriers and
hence
, has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This advancement has offered various benefits and shortcomings.

The major benefit is that it connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
irrespective of the distance. It has provided communities with mediums such as Facebook, Twitter, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of similar interests. Connecting with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in broadening the mindset of the person, which
further
suffices the psychological needs. Another benefit is that, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
friends and family connected with the individual, even when he/she is overseas.
For example
, anyone can connect with their families over
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
, Twitter, Facebook, VoIP calls, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the cost of such services is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less and the connectivity is high, when compared to other mediums.

However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
shortcomings
as well
. The most threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
is the impact of decreased face to face conversations on humankind. Physical contact is necessary for any human mind to grow and stay sane.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the advent of multiple social networking sites has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted to them,
therefore
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less or no time for actual communication with friends and family. Second major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
is that young children are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
targeted by con persons over the social networking sites, who try to exploit the innocence of the children.
For instance
, multiple cases have reported where thieves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to befriend the kids of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the theft.

In conclusion
, like every coin has two sides,
similarly
online communication has both advantages and disadvantages. Any community can
easily
minimize the disadvantages by staying alert, careful and guiding their kids about the web crimes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have a chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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