Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? v.4

Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? v. 4
In the modern world, due to the development of advanced technologies and social networking sites, many individuals are keen to keep in touch with other people. In this regard, making friends from foreign countries is widely known in the modern society. However, this tendency can lead to the negative outcomes. There is no denying that the main advantage of online connection is its availability. That is to say, internet users can find an appropriate friend for them, because of a wide range of people on the internet. A good illustration of this is Facebook, which is a worldwide prosperous service for the people, who is interested in the communication with individuals. Furthermore, keeping in touch with foreign friends can widen their horizons. It can be beneficial for their personal growth, because this opportunity can give a plethora of chances for internet users. For example, they can gain knowledge about foreign culture or traditions. On the other hand, online connection can isolate individuals. It is widely known that spending long hour in front of the computer and texting with other people can lead to the isolation, because these people often lose an interest to face-to-face communication with their peers. To illustrate, young people are not willing to go outside, because of their virtual world. Moreover, this method can be detrimental for the youngsters, because spending time online can lead to deterioration of well-being. It is widely accepted that due to lack of physical activities, many gamers are suffering from diseases. For example, back pain is widely spread among these people. To conclude, although many people tend to think that online connection can only bring negative things, others feel that it has several advantages. In addition, making friends and gaining knowledge can be seen as an advantage of this method.
In the modern world, due to the development of advanced technologies and social networking sites,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this regard, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
from foreign countries is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
widely
known in the modern society.
However
, this tendency can lead to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes.

There is no denying that the main advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
connection is its availability.
That is
to say, internet users can find an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the internet. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is Facebook, which is a worldwide prosperous service for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
is interested
in the communication with individuals.
Furthermore
, keeping in touch with foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can widen their horizons. It can be beneficial for their personal growth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this opportunity can give a plethora of chances for internet users.
For example
, they can gain knowledge about foreign culture or traditions.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
connection can isolate individuals. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
widely
known that spending long hour in front of the computer and texting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can lead to the isolation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lose an interest to face-to-face communication with their peers. To illustrate, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not willing to go outside,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their virtual world.
Moreover
, this method can be detrimental for the youngsters,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
spending time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can lead to deterioration of well-being. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that due to lack of physical activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
gamers are suffering from diseases.
For example
, back pain is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
widely
spread among these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
connection can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things, others feel that it has several advantages.
In addition
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and gaining knowledge can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as an advantage of this method.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts