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Some people think that they can be fit by going to gym, while other think that there are other better way to remain fit. Discuss both the views with your opinion. v.6

Some people think that they can be fit by going to gym, while other think that there are other better way to remain fit. v. 6
There two concepts among people regarding fitness are working out at gym and following other health tips. According to me, both have their own distinct rule in one' s life, yet going to gym is much effective for health. People, who are in favor of joining gym believe that they will get proper training from eminent trainer. Therefore, their health will be stronger. To elaborate, as people pay for joining gym, It will become trainner responsibility to provide proper guidness for their clint health; thus, it is said that gym is a better solution of being fit and healthy. People who are in favor of joining gym believe that they will get proper training from eminent trainer. Therefore, their health will be stronger. To elaborate, as people pay for joining gym, It will become trainner responsibility to provide proper guid for their clints' health; thus, it is said that gym is a better solution of being fit and healthy. Likewise, people will be more serious for workout at gym since they have to pay. Moreover, gyms are fully equipped, so people will be encouraged to do exercise, which helps them to be fit and healthy.
There two concepts among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regarding fitness are working out at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
and following other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
tips.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, both have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
distinct
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s life,
yet
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is much effective for health.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
, who are in favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
believe that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
training from eminent trainer.
Therefore
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be stronger. To elaborate, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
, It will become
Possible spelling mistake found.
trainner
responsibility to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
guidness
for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
clint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
;
thus
, it
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is a better solution of
being fit
and healthy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are in favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
believe that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
training from eminent trainer.
Therefore
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
will be stronger. To elaborate, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
, It will become
Possible spelling mistake found.
trainner
responsibility to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
guid
for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
clints&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
;
thus
, it
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is a better solution of
being fit
and healthy.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more serious for workout at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
since they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
are
fully
equipped,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be encouraged
to do exercise, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
be fit
and healthy.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that they can be fit by going to gym, while other think that there are other better way to remain fit. v. 6

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
195 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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