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Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? v.5

Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? v. 5
Nowadays, some people claim that the online communication has offered the opportunity for people to interact with others from various countries around the globe, whereas in the past, they rarely had the chance to meet with individuals outside their local immediate circle. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of international online communication accordingly. On one hand, the significant advancements in the field of technology have maintained an effective way of communication between people. Firstly, many companies that established branches in its world widely rely on internet revolution tremendously to manage their businesses effortlessly. Also, students and ordinary workers that study and work abroad use mobile phones and internet facilities to stay connected to their families. Secondly, social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram have social groups, through which people can participate and meet with others that share common interests. Lastly, such sites have empowered people to showcase talents. This was evidenced in an article publish in the famous journal “The International Press”, ensuring that social media played a crucial role in communicating the talents of adolescents. On the other hand, communication technology has resulted in some drawbacks. To begin with, people in present times are no more performing live conversations, and thus there are no more strong and supportive relationships. Furthermore, societies become in complete isolations because they are boarded to the virtual communication. To illustrate, a government report has stated that in cosmopolitan countries, people become less sociable and the pivotal factor leading to this phenomenon is the detrimental effect of online communication. In conclusion, it is indisputable that internet interaction has made the Earth a global country, where people can easily stay in touch. Nevertheless, one should not neglect the dark side of this technological revolution.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that the online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has offered the opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact with others from various countries around the globe, whereas in the past, they rarely had the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with individuals outside their local immediate circle. This essay will discuss the pros and cons of international online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
accordingly
.

On one hand, the significant advancements in the field of technology have maintained an effective way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that established branches in its world
widely
rely on internet revolution
tremendously
to manage their businesses
effortlessly
.
Also
, students and ordinary workers that study and work abroad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile phones and internet facilities to stay connected to their families.
Secondly
, social networking sites such as Facebook and Instagram have social groups, through which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can participate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with others that share common interests.
Lastly
, such sites have empowered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to showcase talents. This
was evidenced
in an article publish in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
journal “The International Press”, ensuring that social media played a crucial role in communicating the talents of adolescents.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
technology has resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in present times are no more performing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
conversations, and
thus
there are no more strong and supportive relationships.
Furthermore
, societies become in complete
Possible spelling mistake found.
isolations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are boarded
to the virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. To illustrate, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
report has stated that in cosmopolitan countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become less sociable and the pivotal factor leading to this phenomenon is the detrimental effect of online communication.

In conclusion
, it is indisputable that internet interaction has made the Earth a global country, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
stay in touch.
Nevertheless
, one should not neglect the dark side of this technological revolution.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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