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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would be benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole Do you agree or disagree? v.7

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would be benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole v. 7
In some countries, many more people don't encourage teenagers to work without paying. However, some people believe that do unpaid work in their free time to help teenagers to investigate cognitive development. And I completely agree with this idea. They can get value experiences through community volunteers. In an advance age, Do jobs during in teenager's free time, they can learn a lot of things in life. For themselves, they will spend more occasion at work, and limit free moment to do useless things. Large universities such as Harvard and Stanford in addition to academic evaluation criteria also add community criteria, and this is a big advantage for those who want to be accepted into a famous school. For example: In addition to school knowledge, what is learned from the neighbourhood. They will increase the ability to communicate with people, also help improve teamwork skills, and can arrange the best time. While such things are great, it should be considered whether they affect learning or not. This is a force that can help the district in volunteer activities. It will help the new generation pay more attention to everyone around and provide more labour resources for society. For example, at festivals or recruiting volunteers to help the elderly or to scavenge around the area where they live or teach the local language for foreigners. Nevertheless, even though this is a young labour force, they are still in their teens. It's better to find age-appropriate jobs. In conclusion, I suppose the experiencing jobs in teenage is more beneficial for young people. I think the family and society need to create conditions for children to develop according to their abilities.
In
some
countries,
many
more
people
don't encourage
teenagers
to work without paying.

However
,
some
people
believe that do unpaid work in their free time to
help
teenagers
to investigate cognitive development. And I completely
agree
with this
idea
. They can
get
value experiences through community volunteers.

In an advance age, Do jobs during in
teenager
's free time, they can learn
a lot of
things in life.

For themselves, they will spend more occasion at work, and limit free moment to do useless things.

Large universities such as Harvard and Stanford
in addition
to academic evaluation criteria
also
add
community criteria, and this is a
big
advantage for those who want to be
accepted
into a
famous
school.

For example
:
In addition
to school knowledge, what
is learned
from the
neighbourhood
. They will increase the ability to communicate with
people
,
also
help
improve
teamwork
skills
, and can arrange the best time.

While such things are great, it should
be considered
whether they affect learning or not.

This is a force that can
help
the district in volunteer activities. It will
help
the new generation pay more attention to everyone around and provide more
labour
resources for society.
For example
, at festivals or recruiting volunteers to
help
the elderly or to scavenge around the area where they
live
or teach the local language for foreigners.
Nevertheless
,
even though
this is a young
labour
force, they are
still
in their teens. It's better to find age-appropriate jobs.

In conclusion
, I suppose the experiencing jobs in teenage is more beneficial for young
people
.

I
think
the family and society need to create conditions for children to develop according to their abilities.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would be benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole v. 7

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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