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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. v. 5
Although, many people believe that teenagers in their spare time should help the local community, which is a good thing. I think in a reverse manner and disagree with the given statement. My inclination justified in the following paragraph. Out of all the arguments, the strongest one to prove mine is, doing school/college time they have lots of study load on the answer. By this, I mean that if they insisted do help in their communities, then it may decrease their grade in the test. As a result of which day may undergo in depression due to their log rates and it is not a good thing for a teen. The other reason to prove my point is that it is time for them to enjoy their life. As we address that a student nearly has free time due to the burden of their studies, and if they invest their time in playing or some other recreational activities then it may help them in their studies. As per from scientist, images who spend their time in some physical activity are more active and perform well in their studies. On the contrary, some people claim the mentioned support full stop the farmers argument they do is bar helping others in their local community or doing some work, them many things in their life like became to know how to deal with the situations in their life and in addition they may develop a good communication skill with their indigenous people. Thus, to wrap up the discussion, it can be said that despite some benefits of helping in the communities, I would say that teenagers should spend time in what they like most.
Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, which is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Consider replacing "in a reverse manner" with the adverb for "reverse"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a reverse manner
and disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. My inclination justified in the following paragraph.

Out of all the arguments, the strongest one to prove mine is, doing school/college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they have lots of study load on the answer. By this, I mean that if they insisted do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
, then it may decrease their grade in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
.
As a result
of which day may undergo in depression due to their log rates and it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for a teen.

The other reason to prove my point is that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for them to enjoy their life. As we address that a student
nearly
has free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to the burden of their studies, and if they invest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in playing or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other recreational activities then it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their studies. As per from scientist, images who spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical activity are more active and perform well in their studies.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim the mentioned support full
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "farmers'" or "farmer's"?
farmers
argument they do is bar helping others in their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
or doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work, them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in their life like became to know how to deal with the situations in their life and
in addition
they may develop a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
with their indigenous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Thus
, to wrap up the discussion, it can
be said
that despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of helping in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
, I would say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in what they like most.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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