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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree? v.12

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. v. 12
There is a belief that volunteer activities should be mandatory for all teenagers because it is beneficial for them as well as local communities. In my opinion, I agree that young people contributing to society is a great idea but this should not be compulsory. On the one hand, doing volunteer work brings many advantages for teenagers and society. From the teenagers’ side, unpaid work helps them grow both physically and mentally. For example, when teenagers take part in outdoor activities such as planting trees or cleaning public spaces, they not only improve their health, but also learn important skills like how to cooperate with others when performing duties, or how to handle conflicts in the team, etc. For local communities, if there are more young people dedicate their time to help, there would be more clean and beautiful spaces for the public, and a stronger connection among residents. This would help society become a great place to live. On the other hand, I do not think that teenagers should be obliged to volunteer. In my opinion, volunteering itself is a meaningful activity, and the volunteers would benefit a lot from it when they do it from their heart. However, if young people are forced to spend their time on unpaid work, it may create resentment and the feeling of unfairness among them. Furthermore, under the influence of this mood, I doubt that the results of volunteering do any good to society. In fact, the volunteers may not pay attention to what they are doing and do not care whether the results of their work are qualified or not. In conclusion, teenagers may choose to work for free and help others, but in my opinion we should not make this compulsory.
There is a belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
activities should be mandatory for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is beneficial for them
as well
as local communities. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contributing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this should not be compulsory.

On the one hand, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers’
side, unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them grow both
physically
and mentally.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in outdoor activities such as planting trees or cleaning public spaces, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like how to cooperate with others when performing duties, or how to handle conflicts in the team, etc. For local communities, if there are more young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dedicate their time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, there would be more clean and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
spaces for the public, and a stronger connection among residents. This would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
become a great place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

On the other hand
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
should
be obliged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
. In my opinion, volunteering itself is a meaningful activity, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
would benefit a lot from it when they do it from their heart.
However
, if young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are forced
to spend their time on unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, it may create resentment and the feeling of unfairness among them.
Furthermore
, under the influence of this mood, I doubt that the results of volunteering do any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
may not pay attention to what they are doing and do not care whether the results of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
are qualified
or not.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
may choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for free and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this compulsory.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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