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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.5

In my opinion, children should be taught by both parents and school that how a person can be among good members of society. Kids learn from a lot from their surrondings. A healthy atmosphere should always be created for enfants to grow into a beautiful soul with pure heart. Feelings like respect, caring, sharing, puntuality, unity, kindness, love and affection sould be well taught at an early stage. Hence, this helps children to grow into a better individual and a person with ethics in life. Children spend almost half day time at school and the other time of the day they are with thier family. However, the impact of both the places strongly influences a kids personality. Some things are well taught and explained in school and some other habits are taken care by the family. Education plays a vital role in developing a good human being. Although, schools are meant for teaching yet it is a place to learn manners and flourish a kids best skill. On the other hand, familys lifestyle is adopted by children. Offsprings follow the foot steps of thier parents. Whatever actions or habits they have children would like to do the same beacause they see thier parents doing things they feel even they are allowed to do the same. Hence, it is essential for parents to pay attention and do things which will benefit thier kids in becoming a responsible and good member of society. And learning from both the surrondings children know how to stand out as a beautiful personality in the world and present themselves as a extremely polished person.
In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
that how a person can be among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
members of society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Kids
learn from a lot from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
surrondings
. A healthy atmosphere should always
be created
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
enfants
to grow into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
soul with pure heart. Feelings like respect, caring, sharing,
Possible spelling mistake found.
puntuality
, unity, kindness,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection
Possible spelling mistake found.
sould
be well taught at an early stage.
Hence
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to grow into a better individual and a person with ethics in life.

Children spend almost half day time at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and the other time of the day they are with
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
family.
However
, the impact of both the places
strongly
influences a
An apostrophe may be missing.
kids
personality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
things are well taught and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other habits
are taken
care by the family.

Education plays a vital role in developing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
human being. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are meant
for teaching
yet
it is a place to learn manners and flourish a
It seems that a possessive apostrophe is missing.
kids
best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “families”, the plural form of the noun ‘family’?
familys
lifestyle
is adopted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Offsprings follow the
This word is normally spelled as one.
foot steps
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Whatever actions or habits they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would like to do the same
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacause
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
doing things they feel even they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do the same.

Hence
, it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to pay attention and do things which will benefit
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
in becoming a responsible and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
member of society. And learning from both the
Possible spelling mistake found.
surrondings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
know how to stand out as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
personality in the world and present themselves as
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
extremely
polished person.
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The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay : Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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