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Some people think teaching children with different abilities together benefits everyone, others think intelligent children should be taught separately and given special treatment. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think teaching children with different abilities together benefits everyone, others think intelligent children should be taught separately and given special treatment. v. 1
It is true that every child has a different talent. Some insist that students have to study in different class, depending on academic performance. There are different views on this, I would argue that all students are taught in the same class. Admittedly, there are some reasons why students are distinguished as their performance. Studying with intelligent students can make a better learning atmosphere. Gathering students with the same level of academic score would make it much easier to set targets for classes. They can stimulate themselves to motivate studying hard and to teach each other about problems that they have to solve. Also, no one may not fall behind their curriculums. In addition, many students could attend intensive course to improve certain subject that they are interested in. As a result, it allows them to become a professional in the future. However, I still believe that talented education can bring about negative consequences. Talented students may find it easier to learn efficiently from some classes. By contrast, every student, includes intelligent students, has varying academic strengths. Therefore, being in advanced program is not always beneficial for even intelligent students. This is because gifted students will find some differences between themselves, even in the advanced classes. As parents of average students, they could put pressure on their children to be designated as gifted students. Therefore, although students have different potential capabilities, they will try to do their best to make their parents satisfied. In conclusion, I understand the positive effect of talented education, such as the better learning atmosphere and opportunity taking incentive course. However, considering the aforementioned reasons such as the varying academic strengths and stress from parents’ expectation, this has harmful effects on individuals’ development.
It is true that every child has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
talent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, depending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
views on this, I would argue that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are taught
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are distinguished
as their performance. Studying with intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better learning atmosphere. Gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with the same level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
score would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it much easier to set targets for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. They can stimulate themselves to motivate studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and to teach each other about problems that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve.
Also
, no one may not fall behind their curriculums.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
could attend intensive course to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
certain subject that they
are interested
in.
As a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to become a professional in the future.

However
, I
still
believe that talented education can bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. Talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may find it easier to learn
efficiently
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. By contrast, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, includes intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, has varying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
strengths.
Therefore
, being in advanced program is not always beneficial for even intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences between themselves, even in the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
. As parents of average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they could put pressure on their children to
be designated
as gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Therefore
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
potential capabilities, they will try to do their best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their parents satisfied.

In conclusion
, I understand the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect of talented education, such as the better learning atmosphere and opportunity taking incentive course.
However
, considering the aforementioned reasons such as the varying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
strengths and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from parents’ expectation, this has harmful effects on individuals’ development.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think teaching children with different abilities together benefits everyone, others think intelligent children should be taught separately and given special treatment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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