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Some people think sport is important to society. Other, however, feel it is nothing more than leisure activity. Discuss both views and give opinion. v.2

Some people think sport is important to society. Other, however, feel it is nothing more than leisure activity. v. 2
Yes, Sports play a crucial role in the society. But, today the topic asserts that, is sports important for the people or is it a leisure activity. Through this essay, I will going to examine both points of view and shape up my opinion by the end. On one side, there are group of people who says that games is important for everyone but why? There are number of answers related to this topic. First and foremost is they can get the national platform and bright their future. moreover, they can earn the good salary package and survive in the society easily and government also provide them government jobs as well as every facilities like as free treatment and huge discounts on every product and so on. Apart from that, sports person always keep their body fit and fine and protect their body from the diseases.
Yes, Sports play a crucial role in the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
the topic asserts that, is sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or is it a leisure activity. Through this essay, I will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "go"
going
to examine both points of view and shape up my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On one side, there are
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "groups"?
group
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who says that games is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why? There are number of answers related to this topic.
First
and foremost is they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the national platform and bright their future.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, they can earn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary package and survive in the society
easily
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
provide them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
jobs
as well
as every facilities like as free treatment and huge discounts on every product and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Apart from that, sports person always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their body fit and fine and protect their body from the diseases.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some people think sport is important to society. Other, however, feel it is nothing more than leisure activity. v. 2

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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