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Nowadays many business meetings and training are happening online and not in real offices. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages in this matter? v.2

Nowadays many business meetings and training are happening online and not in real offices. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages in this matter? v. 2
By the advent of technology, life has been changed in various aspects. Among these changes, Internet revolutionize significantly the means of communication. Many support telecommunication for business meeting while others believe in meeting face-to-face, rather than online meeting. Admittedly, online meeting not only is convenient, but also is more environmentally friendly by cutting down travels to offices, causing less carbon footprints. For instance, travelling by plane or vehicles decrease remarkably. Meanwhile, it is more time-saving by pressing the buttons, instead of commuting back-and-forth to offices, and stocking in traffic jam. These rather beneficial points, encourage both employees and employers to utilize telecommunication as well as online conferences as it is more prevalent in the recent century. On the other hand, although online meeting brings various advantages, the picture has a dark side. Technology is not necessarily trustful. Many problems can come up during the meeting, leading to disturb the conference and pose inconvenience. Similarly important, Telecommunication could bring misconception or misunderstanding as it could rarely happen in face-to-face meeting due to incapability of online meeting to convey feeling and emotion. Additionally, although online meeting such as video conferencing, file shaving, and Telecommunication is comfortable, they encourage sedentary lifestyle, leading to deteriorate consequences such as obesity and diabetes. Thus, not always the easiest way is the best of it. To sum up, from my point of view, a balance of both means is suggested. Online meeting is neither a deterrent nor a constructive. Albeit online meeting is beneficial for distant locations, face-to-face meeting should be included in one agenda.
By the advent of technology, life has been
changed
in various aspects. Among these
changes
, Internet revolutionize
significantly
the means of communication.
Many
support telecommunication for business
meeting
while others believe in
meeting
face-to-face,
rather
than
online
meeting.

Admittedly
,
online
meeting
not
only
is convenient,
but
also
is more
environmentally
friendly by cutting down travels to offices, causing less carbon footprints.
For instance
, travelling by
plane
or vehicles decrease
remarkably
. Meanwhile, it is more time-saving by pressing the buttons,
instead
of commuting back-and-forth to offices, and stocking in traffic jam. These
rather
beneficial points, encourage both employees and employers to utilize telecommunication
as well
as
online
conferences as it is more prevalent in the recent century.

On the other hand
, although
online
meeting
brings various advantages, the picture has a dark side. Technology is not
necessarily
trustful.
Many
problems can
come
up during the
meeting
, leading to disturb the conference and pose inconvenience.
Similarly
important
, Telecommunication could bring misconception or misunderstanding as it could rarely happen in face-to-face
meeting
due to incapability of
online
meeting
to convey feeling and emotion.
Additionally
, although
online
meeting
such as video conferencing, file shaving, and Telecommunication is comfortable, they encourage sedentary lifestyle, leading to deteriorate consequences such as obesity and diabetes.
Thus
, not always the easiest way is the best of it.

To sum up, from my point of view, a balance of both means
is suggested
.
Online
meeting
is neither a deterrent nor
a constructive
. Albeit
online
meeting
is beneficial for distant locations, face-to-face
meeting
should
be included
in one agenda.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Nowadays many business meetings and training are happening online and not in real offices. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages in this matter? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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