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Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. v. 5
Crime today has become one of the most important issues in society. While some believe that putting criminals in jail is the best solution, others think providing them with better education and vocational programs is better. Although I accept that they should receive job training and education, I disagree that there is no need to bring criminals to prison. On the one hand, vocational education and training is good methods that can help criminals become better citizens. Firstly, education can change the attitude of wrongdoers positively. When educated, criminals will be aware that they should have not broken the law and also feel guilty of their wrongdoings. Secondly, because of lacking money, many people commit crimes like theft or robbery so vocational training can give offenders a chance to know more clearly about jobs such as tailor, carpenter so that they can find such jobs and earn a living after being released from jail. Therefore, this may lead to the reduction of the rate of crime committing. On the other side, incarcerating criminals is obviously must-have solution for certain crimes to protect the stability of society. Locking up the perpetrators in confined spaces can prevent more life losses. They might get some education and training, but still must be kept away from the community. Moreover, some types of criminals like homicide or aggravated assaults are more likely to have to accept capital punishment. Therefore, it is no use in trying to educate and train this group. Prison is the best deterrent to their actions. In conclusion, I think both incarceration and education and job training are good ways to deal with lawbreakers, but we should strive to find the suitable punishment for each crime to reduce the future harm and create a better society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
has become one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues in society. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in jail is the best solution, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
providing them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and vocational programs is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. Although I accept that they should receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, I disagree that there is no need to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to prison.

On the one hand, vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
methods that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
citizens.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the attitude of wrongdoers
positively
. When educated,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
will be aware that they should have not broken the law and
also
feel guilty of their wrongdoings.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lacking money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like theft or robbery
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
can give offenders a chance to know more
clearly
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as tailor, carpenter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can find such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and earn a living after
being released
from jail.
Therefore
, this may lead to the reduction of the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
committing.

On the other side, incarcerating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
-have solution for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
to protect the stability of society. Locking up the perpetrators in confined spaces can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
more life losses. They might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
away from the community.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
like homicide or aggravated assaults are more likely to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
accept capital punishment.
Therefore
, it is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in trying to educate and train this group. Prison is the best deterrent to their actions.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both incarceration and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways to deal with lawbreakers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should strive to find the suitable punishment for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the future harm and create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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