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Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. v. 1
The practice that lawbreakers should be condemned to jail is of fundamental necessity to cope with them has been garnering much social endorsements in today’s world. Others claim that education and training are at the core of the solution. While both sides have proved their great significance, I would contend that the way offenders should be dealt with depends crucially on their age and the degree of activities leading to criminality. Specific types of crimes should be severely punished to lay the foundations for the safety of social life. Additional prison sentences to offenders, namely drug sellers and illegal weapon transporters must be longer, therefore, it could act as a precursor to satisfy the social requirements both of deterrence and retribution. Take serial killers as an example. These people may be stripped of the opportunity to rehabilitate in the long term. Jeffrey, committed the rape, murder and dismemberment of many Milwaukee people in 1993 was served maximum sentences for his ruthless character and it was no use in educating him. Imposing those who attempt to assassinate other people under the sentence of death is the top priority for their heinous actions. However, I believe that providing thorough training and education for criminals as well as recidivists who are inexperienced and immature are possible options because such measures may discourage citizens from violating the law. This is primarily because once adolescents have the intention of breaking the law, they would think deeply that it may worth the risk or not. In addition, in light of the prison time, youthful former offenders imprisoned in their twenties could be made redundant in this labor market when they are out. For example, Pham Van Quyen, an internationally-acclaimed football talents, who had a bright future was jailed at his very young age. Then he was released by his thirties, the prime football career age and became unemployed for a long time due to his lack of morality. In reality, legal workshops and educational programs are not popularized in schools and colleges. These intensive training could not only help the public realize how risky unruly behavior is but also provide a wealth of knowledge to people in need. Therefore, in the long run, it may act as a catalyst for a decrease in the amount of lawbreakers. In conclusion, there are possible measures to form a civilized society, I believe that for each type of criminal, appropriate actions should be taken in order to mitigate the associated risks in the future. Chances for killers to have the rehabilitation would be a non-optimal choice, while opportunities should be promoted for the young citizens.
The practice that lawbreakers should
be condemned
to jail is of fundamental necessity to cope with them has been garnering much social endorsements in
today
’s world. Others claim that education and training are at the core of the solution. While both sides have proved their great significance, I would contend that the way offenders should
be dealt
with depends
crucially
on their age and the degree of activities leading to criminality.

Specific types of crimes should be
severely
punished to lay the foundations for the safety of social life. Additional prison sentences to offenders,
namely
drug sellers and illegal weapon transporters
must
be longer,
therefore
, it could act as a precursor to satisfy the social requirements both of deterrence and retribution. Take serial killers as an example. These
people
may
be stripped
of the opportunity to rehabilitate in the long term. Jeffrey, committed the rape, murder and dismemberment of
many
Milwaukee
people
in 1993
was served
maximum sentences for his ruthless character and it was no
use
in educating him. Imposing those who attempt to assassinate other
people
under the sentence of death is the top priority for their heinous actions.

However
, I believe that providing thorough training and education for criminals
as well
as recidivists who
are inexperienced
and immature are possible options
because
such measures may discourage citizens from violating the law. This is
primarily
because
once adolescents have the intention of breaking the law, they would
think
deeply
that it
may worth
the
risk
or not.
In addition
, in light of the prison time, youthful former offenders imprisoned in their twenties could
be made
redundant in this labor market when they are out.
For example
,
Pham
Van
Quyen
, an
internationally
-acclaimed football talents, who had a bright future
was jailed
at his
very
young age. Then he
was released
by his thirties, the prime football career age and became unemployed for a long time due to his lack of morality. In reality, legal workshops and educational programs are not popularized in schools and colleges. These intensive training could not
only
help
the public realize how risky
unruly
behavior is
but
also
provide a wealth of knowledge to
people
in need.
Therefore
, in the long run, it may act as a catalyst for a decrease in the amount of lawbreakers.

In conclusion
, there are possible measures to form a civilized society, I believe that for each type of criminal, appropriate actions should
be taken
in order to mitigate the associated
risks
in the future. Chances for killers to have the rehabilitation would be a non-optimal choice, while opportunities should
be promoted
for the young citizens.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
436 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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