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Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. v.1

Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. v. 1
Parents take care of their children at every step. While some people believe that parents should teach children different stories, others believe that parents should not involve in that as children have the ability to understand and analyse those stories and lessons by themselves. There are many benefits of teaching children by parents on stories. Children can understand stories by reading themselves, but not up to the level as older people can. As they grow up their analysing ability also will increase. Hence if parents make them understand stories by reading and translating, they can understand much better.   Not only that, if children start reading and watching stories by themselves, there is a possibility of misunderstanding  the concept of stories (If Moral stories), and also possibility of choosing the bad programs and stories by themselves. For instance, old people always advise parents to teach children good moral stories, which are used for them to improve and understand the values of a human being. However, some people believe that parents should not always hold children for each and every step, as they read books, watch TV, so have the ability to understand the stories by reading themselves. People say that there are a lot of differences in today’s children compared to older days. It is proved that these day’s children have the ability to understand the situations and act according to that, they not only read stories but also can teach to others.   For example, in today’s schools, children who have just started schooling can learn and involve in multiple tasks much faster than their parents. To sum up, though today’s children have the ability to analyse situations and stories much better, it is always the responsibility of parents to look after on how well they understand it. It depends on each child, how good they analyse.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at every step. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not involve in that as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
and lessons by themselves.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not up to the level as older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they grow up their
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
also
will increase.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and translating, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
much better.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
and watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
by themselves, there is a possibility of misunderstanding
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
the concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
(If Moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories)
, and
also
possibility of choosing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
programs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
by themselves.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always advise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
moral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the values of a human being.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should not always hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for each and every step, as they read books,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
say that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
differences in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
compared to older days. It
is proved
that
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the situations and act according to that, they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can teach to others.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
For example
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s schools,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
schooling can learn and involve in multiple tasks much faster than their parents.

To sum up, though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
situations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
much better, it is always the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to look after on how well they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
it. It depends on each child, how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
they
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think parents should read or tell stories to children, while others think parents need not do that, as children can read books, watch TV or movies by themselves. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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