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Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basic produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. v.1

Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basic produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. v. 1
This is the era or globalisation and world trade and business. This has enabled us to keep better diplomatic and business relationship with many other countries and products produced in a country could easily be found in another country.   However, this requires the products and foods to be travelled to a long distance before reaching to the consumers of other countries and this has both negative and positive consequences. In my opinion, this has far more advantages than the drawbacks. On one hand, a country should first try to be self-sufficient rather than relying heavily on imported goods. Foods, vegetables and fruits should not be imported from other countries since the long distance travel of such commodities degraded their food values. Moreover, importing from other countries is quite costly. Finally, a country should try to produce daily necessities by themselves as it would eradicate the poverty, unemployment and would also make sure the better economic progress of a country. On the contrary, the advantages of the global economy and trade are highlighted often and it is true that being self-sufficient for all countries are quite impossible. Some countries are better for agriculture, some for industrial productions, some for food processing and some others for technologies and thus each nation has their unique ability to do well in some specific sectors. Thus no country can locally produce everything their people need. First and foremost advantages of importing products from other countries is that a country can enjoy those short of goods without even producing them. For instance, many countries enjoy tea and coffee even though they do not locally produce them. Second, sometimes importing is less expensive than producing something and not every country has the environment and manpower to do so. Third, transportation system nowadays is becoming more efficient and in the near future, it will take less time to supply goods from another country to another. The global economy enables a country to export products to other nations rather than wasting them and this has proven to be a strong revenue earning area for many countries. People nowadays have more choices of their products and global economy hit the monopoly so hard that people can enjoy global branded products at a competitive price. In summary, more time to transport daily commodities from one country to other has some demerits. However the endless advantages they bring are quite overwhelming.
This is the era or
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and world trade and business. This has enabled us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
better diplomatic and business relationship with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
produced in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
could
easily
be found
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
However
, this requires the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
to
be travelled
to a long distance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching to the consumers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and this has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences. In my opinion, this has far more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
than the drawbacks.

On one hand, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
first
try to be self-sufficient
rather
than relying
heavily
on imported
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Foods
, vegetables and fruits should not
be imported
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
since the long distance travel of such commodities degraded their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
values.
Moreover
, importing from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is quite costly.
Finally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should try to produce daily necessities by themselves as it would eradicate the poverty, unemployment and would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the better economic progress of a country.

On the contrary
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
economy and trade
are highlighted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and it is true that being self-sufficient for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are quite impossible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are better for agriculture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
for industrial productions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
processing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others for technologies and
thus
each nation has their unique ability to do well in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific sectors.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
locally
produce everything their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need.
First
and foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
of importing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can enjoy those short of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
without even producing them.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
enjoy tea and coffee
even though
they do not
locally
produce them. Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
importing is less expensive than producing something and not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has the environment and manpower to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Third, transportation system nowadays is becoming more efficient and in the near future, it will take less time to supply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
economy enables a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to export
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations
rather
than wasting them and this has proven to be a strong revenue earning area for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
nowadays have more choices of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
economy hit the monopoly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at a competitive price.

In summary, more time to transport daily commodities from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the endless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advantages
they bring are quite overwhelming.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basic produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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